Judge — February 24, 1923 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Foolishment HERE can a man buy a cap for his knee Or a key for the lock of his hair? Can his eyes be called an academy Because there are pupils there? In the crown of your head What jewels are founc Who travels the bridge of your nose? If you want to shingle the roof of your mouth Would you use the nails of your toes? Or beat the drum of your ear? Can the calf of your leg eat the corn on your toe? Then why not grow corn on the ear? Can the crook in your elbow be sent to How your shoulder blade? T'll be darned if I know, do you? Can you sit in the shade of the palm of your hand? Hamilton Royal Gaboon. et you. sharpen “Mother, Santa Claus kissed me last night.” “Don’t be silly, dear!” “Yes, he did, mother; he kissed me and he said, ‘Go to sleep, like a good little girl, while I get your mother’s rings out of her jewel box to surprise her.” Toronto Goblin. Barber—Shall I go over it again? Victim—No, I heard it all the first time.—California Pelican. *22—I hear you and Geraldine had a fall-out. What was the trouble? 23 all her kid brother's fault. he set the alarm clock under the sofa, and when it went off, from force of habit I shoute fake up, you egg, it’s time to move!”"—Penn State Froth. “T hear that you married your former wife’s sister?” “Yes, I hated to have to break in a new mother-in-law and little brother.” —Denver Parrakeet. tae “Before we were married George used to kiss me when we went through tun- nels,” And now “Now, b and Lee Mink. es a drink.” —Washington erry Bill Junior—Pa, can we see sound? Bill Senior—No, my son. “Then what did you mean by saying that mamma's new hat looked like thun- der?"—Princeton Tiger. had ELL, if A cup Is the same As a mug “And that It is the same As a face My girl Has one o} The prettiest Loving cups You ever —Colgate Banter. sas Letty—Having any luck in school this year? Malone- all my text-be Parrot. I'll say so! Somebody copped Northwestern. Purple 20 As I bowed she rose with a smile. vited, mak ing room for me on the sofa beside her * I replied. ghed saucily up at me. * she threatened, putting a pillo between us as a safeguard against such movements. I turned 1 my I waited. Silence. * pouting now. ‘—," I whispered as the pillow fell to the floor. * struggling. Jor opened. * said she, clumsily, Wild confusion. greeting her mothe “—." T added, looking up from. the fire that I had been punching vigorousls “—."" was her laughing reply. There was an embarrassing Molly poured out the tea. Her mother glared. I wished I had not come. “—,” said I, looking at the heavy clouds outside, pause. ” her mother answered, frigidly. I took my hat and gloves. “—.” said her mother, proffered hand. Molly blushed. The door closed behind me. said I, softly.—Stanford Chap- ignoring my paral. there's a all player out here ure taken.” wants his pi Full fa “No, half back.”—California Pelican. ey. I can’t take this suit this ren’t any pockets in it! ‘ailor—I know, but I thought from the length of time you've owed me for the last one that you never had anything to put in them.—Cornell Widow. ery Canvasser—Will you subscribe to the Republican campaign fund? Victim—How much are you expecting? “Twenty-five dollars has been the least so far.” orry, old man. Harvard Lampoon. I'm a Democrat.”— Fled—Big discussion just now when Sandy said that you were not fit to eat with cows. Red—And you stood up for me? “Sure, I maintained that you were.” —wWesleyan Wasp.