Judge, 1923-01-27 · page 9 of 36
Judge — January 27, 1923 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines: **"Scooty Blear"** (top left): A Scottish-dialect story about a man reminiscing on Prohibition-era hardships. The opening dialogue jokes that a bartender misses patrons' conversation less than their alcohol purchases ("rye" whiskey). The narrative laments loss of Scottish whisky culture and celebrates figures like the Haig brothers, while ending with dark irony—a bootlegger replacing legitimate alcohol distribution. **"Heaven Itself"** (top right): A light golf poem celebrating the sport's pleasures. **"The Suspicious Wife"** and **"Daughter"** (middle): Quick joke panels—one about a husband's dubious alibi involving "Tom Baker" and mysterious powder on his shoulder (implying infidelity), and another about a daughter defending a suitor's appearance rather than character. **"The Club Car—Southbound"** (bottom): A crowded train-car illustration showing social chaos, likely satirizing modern travel conditions. The dominant theme is **Prohibition's social impact**—mourning lost drinking culture while acknowledging illegal bootlegging's rise.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Pretty lonesome in the shop these days—eh, Mac? I'll bet you miss the players and their chaff?” “I don't miss their chaff as much as their rye.” Scooty Blear by CW. Myers T itHeR nicht I dreamed I was reminiscin’ wi’ my auld frien, S McGowan, aboot th’ gude auld nabody thocht that his persc wad e’er be curtailed in this lan’o’ th’ free. fe reca’ Johnny Dewar?” he asked, n’ his eyebraws a bit. “Weel, fer ane thing, th’ mair ye'd cooltivate him th’ happier he wad mak’ ye Puir lad, may his spirit rest in f “Aweel, my laddie, he v gude an’ cheerfu’ companion as lang as he ved wi’ us,” I answered. ‘Yes, he’s deed noo, like mony ther gude soldier.” “An’ ye remember th’ Haig brothers, sons 0’ Auld John Haig?” he continued in dolefu’ tones. “Thim laddies were muckle powerfu’ in thir day, I tell ye. Ye'd hae tae be verra carefu’ hoo ye'd micht hae th’ de’il tae *"d ken thim weel, b find th’ Haig family nac ight aifter a’.” “Richt ye be, Sandy thim, or * LT agreed, “but yon Auld Mon fer strength or spirits or fightin’ qualities. Th’ fact is, a’ o’ thim were o’ th’ stoof gude an’ braw men are made o’, an’ they a’'ways were open an’ abooveboard—whaur ye cad see thim, too—an’ wi’ thir encouragement ye cad look ilka mon in th’ face an’ tell him tae gang ploomb tae hell, I tell ys Juist then I woke oop. I thocht I smelt th’ aroma’ 0’ soome auld wine cellar. But I was wrang. It was fusel oil. I looked oot th’ window an’ saw a bootlegger, bulkily claed, climb intae his limousine an’ drive awa’. Soometimes I think this is a verra dry an’ hard auld warld. tae This is one winter when the house- holder isn’t kicking about the way the coal wagons cut up the lawn, ery Daughter—It is perfectly silly for you to object to my marrying Herbert! Father—Well, what has he got? “Why, he—he, has pretty teeth, dark, wavy hair, and—and, the softest brown e Heaven Itself by G. UH. Fisher snappy day, A sporty course, A bag weighed down with clubs. A caddie keen, A fairway green, A foursome free from dubs. A cracking drive A midiron clean, Approach dead, then one putt. Life holds no sweeter Bliss than this For I'm an old golf nut. Poe Suspicious Wife (who has waited until midnight for her husband’s return)- Where have you been all evening? Culprit—T've been talking business s over with Tom Baker. es? And I suppose that is baking powder that is sprinkled all over your shoulder?” The Club Car—Southbound,