Judge — January 27, 1923 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- : = — DE WRCR ER In the rough. Eagles and Birdies by Walter Trumbull eRe golf and baseball differ quite: In golf it is not well at all with such astounding might knock the cover off the bull. It's true in baseball this may le To your attaining extra p But not in golf—oh, no, indeed! You have to buy golf balls yourself. * * «6 There was one thing Job gained by sitting out in the yard. He didn't have to listen to the after-dinner speakers. Cain may have been unjustly blamed all these years. Probably he was trying out a new wooden club and Abel stood too near. * 8 8 A cynic is the alarm clock which strives to wake a dreamer from his dream. * + * The sophisticated woman is the easiest to shock. She knows what you are talking about. + + « rents metheglin s, bathed with Your teeth are pearls, your a Your cheeks are crimson ro: dew; Ab, love, if only [ eould cash t I'd get the money: back I've spent on you. * 6 . The stage is a place where the poor wor ife is a place where the poor working girl mpts to get all the villain’s clothes, with the exception of a breach of promise suit. * 68 ¢@ When they're wearing ‘em short it isn't hard to get man to drop his eyes to the stars. + # * There are more gossips in a large town, but in a small town they get together bet A woman at times tells the truth, but it’s abvays about some other woman. Pp Luts, you say you'd rather be with me And that you couldn't help this date you've m That, with a decent show of courtesy, The thing was something you could not e Yet I am told he has a winning w So, when you murmur that you h And how impossible it is to st I, knowing you, but answer, “Is that so!” » the young ladies who used lors. Now 1 to golfers. The Lorelei to sit on the rocks and call to they sit in the sand traps and Within the lonely forest Where trees grow thick and tall, Leaves feel the kiss of autumn And blush before they fall. We knew a man ¢ who was superstitious Opal was his wife’s name. . . * about opals. Over 35,000,000 pounds of snuff are manu- factured annually in the United States. Yet people regard it as something to be sneezed at Here's something we give you, in passing by, For storage above the ears: A rope is stronger when wet than dry— And so is a breath, my dears 1 world Faith seldom is killed n stroke. It is hacked to pi In this erv with one bit by bit. married men live Perhaps it only seems Statisticians that longer than single ones say tonger. » tells us that bright silver is It's always been in A fashion ne good for evening wear. favor as a lining for pockets. The men who brush it from the si the top never will be in the bobbed hair set. 6 across _ Told at the 19th Hole Santa Barbara Country Club, California, facing the Pacific. First hole, Manila; second hole, Hong Kong; third hole, Bombay, and so on around. Ballades of a Dub by ALN. C. Fowler I Think I'l Buy Myself a Cup I kKNow a bunch of dubbing guys Who win golf prizes when they play, And yet the more yours truly tries The less such prizes come his way; So I suspect there'll dawn a day I'll pass this deprivation up, And when I do then let me say { think I'll buy myself a cup. T'll have it of the proper size To hold about two quarts, frappé, Of what a miser rarely buys Since stern Reform h said: ay!” ne in letters repoussé of that prize-winning pup Who won because himself did I think T'll buy myself a cup. Then, when the dark’ning ev'ning skies fo golf have put another stay [ll stock up with the right supplies To pass a pleasant night away And, cre I fade to hit the hay, Tl revel in my wickeyup Like other champs a bit passé— I think I'll buy myself a cup. L'Envoi You, Bacchus, stick around, I pray, It won't be arid while we sup; Forget all golf, the grape holds sway— I think I'll buy myself a cup. tae “Do you mind being in this subway crush “No, I go to dances every night.” soe Knick—I knew she wouldn't succeed as a medium. Knack—No. of a show. She never had a ghost comichooks.