Judge — January 27, 1923 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOMPKINS was in need of RS, Me new clothes and adopted her usual tacties with Mr. Tompkins. “A tree, you know, dear, gets new clothes e y spring; a new parasol— makes them all itself.”—St. Paul Dis- patch. al sen Howard recently? at’s he doin: “Writing plays. “What! ‘That fellow writing play howling — alley."—Brooklyn — Standard- Union. ery Gladys—My dressmaker wrote to dad that she would make no more dresses for me until her account was settle Helen nd what did he say “He just sent her a letter of thanks.”"— Boston Transcript. TECHNIQUE Barber (on holiday)—Fine lather on this mornin’, matey.—Passing Show (London). sae en,” said the criminal who was o the gallows, “I need some what kind of exercise do you f asked the warden, “Td like to skip the rope,” Brooklyn Eagle. tas beoin and Mr. Wa he grinned, are probably talking in “They may be, but their very carnest- ness makes me suspect they are swapping bootleggers.”—Birmingham —Age-Herald. sae “T want a wil said the French count, “with golden hair, ruby lips, teeth of pearl, a silvery voice and eyes that sparkle like diamonds.” Cc replied his American friend, “and if you get her it’s ten to one her friends will find her in a pawnshop be- fore the honeymoon is ended.”—Indian- apolis Star. Digest of the World’s Humor board of - at Scipio, rR. ALLEN, of the state health, was holding ac examining children of school youngster, age six, was under. v The doctor began to make ans i id the following dia- logue took plac a "t drink milk?” a farm and don’t drink at all?” Nope, we ain't got hardly enough milk for the hogs.”—Indianapolis News. tat I’ Was very quiet in the movie em- porium as the audience watched one of the movie stars simulating intoxica- tion, Suddenly the silence was broken by the shrill voice of a small boy, who ated in the rear of the auditorium: Phat ain't the way to be drunk, is it, —Journal of the American Medi- cal Association. tae A bootblack in City Hall Park is a sociable chap and conversation is in- evitable. ‘You are a foreigner?” he was asked. “Not “American from de York Evening Post. sae “Do you object to my bathing suit?” inquired the beach belle. “Not personally,” replied lage cop, “only professionally.” ington Star. answered. —New a foreigner,” he other side.” the _ vil- —Wash- Per) “Mr. Flubdub never makes it thing but clubs.” “A result of the golf habit.”—Louis- ville Courier-Journal. any- Weary Caddy (sotto voce)—That’ 's right, guv’nor, git on wiv it! dear farver and muvver, an’ make me a good putter. (London). 23 Patient (leaving office)—I like the young doctor the best. ce Attendant—Why? he knows all the old man knows s what he knows himself.—Detroit Free Press. Boy—Go, it Suzanne!—The Humor- ist (Londen). oLp physician of the last gen- A ation was noted for his brusque manner and old-fashioned methods. Ou one occasion a woman called him in to ut her baby, who was slightly. ailing. The doctor prescribed castor vil. “But, doctor,” protested the young mother, “castor oil is such an old-fashioned remedy.” “Mada are old-fashioned Scotsman, se * replied the doctor, “babies things." —Edinburgh cy “Hello, Bill! What's the idea of a raincoat and galoshes on a bright, sun- shiny day like this “Well, you see: ports by radio every night it prophesied rain for to “That's funny. May) the thing tuned right.” —New T get the weather re- and last night on didn’t have York Sun. ‘Bless Amen!’—The Humorist