Judge — January 27, 1923 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

create Angus (after a gran’ nicht)—Losh! But this lantern o’ Sandy's gives an awfu’ puir licht!—Humorist (London). chad Acoustey farmer walked into the pneré » in the village. “ 2 that tub of margarine nd all the other food- the recently the store. xl gracious!” said widow, who kept you want with all them things, Mr. 3? “T dunne plied the worthy farmer, “but you know, I’m the executor of your husband’s will, and Lawyer Stiles said I was to be sure and carry out all the pro- visions.” —Los Angeles Times. ott Arourican. rally was being held 42% ina very large hall in London. The s a man who had a rather weak voice and similar political policies. A man in the gallery cupped his hands behind his s in a vain effort to hear, then shouted, “Oi cawn’t ‘ear! Oi cawn’t “ear!” Another man sitting in front of the platform rose to his feet and shouted back, “Ya cawn’t ear? Well, ’eaven, and sit down!”—Brooklyn Ci What do you think of it “It’s no version; it's a perversion.”— Boston Transcript. sae “You did not return the engagem ring when you jilted the young m “No,” replied the heartless girl found t he is unworthy; but it is a perfectly good ring.” —Washington Star. ae Mrs. Doctor (to husband returning from a hunting trip)—Did you kill much? r—N« othing all. You would have done much better had you remained at home!”"—The Medi- cal Quip. aaa y golf? said Mr. Grabcoin. is a good way to preserve your I'd rather swat a pill. than swallow one.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. HIS conversation was heard on a diner between the head chef and an- other chef who was sent on an errand. Being gone longer than the head chef liked, the latter said to his tant on his return: “Well, nigger, you can go the fudderest, the i and Rela New Cook—What is the first thing you want me to do? Mrs. Howard—Get through telling me how lovely your last mistress was,—New York Sun. i haod Wife (with newspaper)—Just think of it! A couple got married a few d after a courtship which lasted fifty 3 Hub—I suppose the poor old man too feeble to hold out any longer—Ep- worth Herald. yyy A new-born baby always yells; and considering the tax burden it faces, you can’t blame it.—Springfield Sun. T° A tramp who wanted to earn a bite to eat a woman said: “If I thought you were honest I'd let you go to the chicken house and gather the eggs.” D he replied with dignit manager at a bathhouse for fifteen years and never took a bath.”—Bosto, Post. waa Teacher—If one man can build a house in twelve days, six men can do it in two days. Bright Student—Then if crossed the ocean in six d. ships cross it in one day? Democrat and Chronicle. ery “Did my wife make meeting this afternoon? “Well, I don’t believe I've ever met your wife, but a large, distinguished- looking woman got up and started out by saying that she couldn’t find words press her feelings.” wasn’t my speech at the wife.” —American Rocks the cradle! —Passing Show (London).