Judge — January 20, 1923 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

S ‘if | | ll CLARKE. Drawn by Rene “You need a rest, man. A BAD CASE I guess we'll send you away to a sanitarium in the Adirondacks.” “All right, Doc; but don’t you know of a nice little sanitarium down South somewhere with a nine hole course?” Movie Golf by Roy Horton Ww" a short time three of the more pretentious movie palaces of rk, I noticed a great number of people itinually prowling about the theater during the show, roaming up and down the aisles, and peering into the crowded rows. It puzzled me because there were plenty of ushers to find seats for them when there were any to be found. What were these people looking for? Upon investiga n vi discovered that they were engi ame which I have called “movie the way itisdone. ‘The game is played in pairs. One member of the twosome goes to the theater early in the evening. The other enters sometime later, preferably during the last reel of the first show- ing of the feature because at that time the place is almost sure to be jammed. He tees up at the head of the aisle and makes his drive by walking slowly down it, carefully scrutinizing the portion of the audience to his right. His brassie brings him back up the inspecting the region to the left. The proach is made after he locates his partner entering the row in which said partner is seated. To he out he must take the s which his partner has held for him. In ce: the partner has failed to hold a proach must be made with the feigned belief that there is a seat there. Then by reporting to the partner and making a perfect follow through to the other he can hole out with the penalty of an extra putt. forced to in two or ago I was aisle, The score is kept by simply counting the number of strokes consumed in locating the partner and holing out. Thus you would say, “T played the Strand in 38 the other night.” A player gets off th irway into the rough when he mistakes si stranger for his partner and enters the wrong row. Consider- able nerve is needed in such ease to make the recovery and get back to the aisle in good form. With the number of fat men who insist on occupying aisle seats, the movie golfer is fre- quently stymied. He must not lift. is out-of-bounds when he lingers igh to draw down upon of the usher with her rdingly. ‘er must not use Very signals, Radiolite wrist watch, or other means of attracting the searcher’s attention. The sporting thing to do is to watch the picture. The ardent golfer will find this new form of his beloved game most rting. The more crowded the course is, the better the game. Rees Which Was It? by LLL. a row long enc himself the unsought flashlight and is pe During play F you do not so much as graze the sand, addressing the ball in the pit, your “nib” you say, as it soars in a cloud of dust, “That must be on the green, But, no—by my soul, it’s in the hole!” That's not golf—it's a golfer’s dream! 9 Ballades of a Dub Our Bankers’ Foursome Is a Yell W° uAVE four birds out at our links That haven't got a thing to do But play each day for balls and drinks And 0 r let the others through Who vainly in their wake pursue Like simple sheep their wether-bell Or flappers after something new— Our bankers’ foursome is a yell. And are they sluggish? Why, those ginks Consume about an hour or two Discussing all the latest kinks In discount rates, exchange, home-brew And what the world is coming to If Canada or Spain won't sell Before they reach the fourth tee. Our bankers’ foursome is a yell. Whew! An av'rage pair of bobolinks Could hymn their mating-songs and woo And raise a family, methinks, And watch them fly away from view In half the time that must ensue While this slow, fiseal bunch will dwell Upon the greens and vow each blew— Our bankers’ foursome is a yell. L’Envoi Blind Fate, pick out another pew For this quartet interm’nable And I'll mak Our bankers’ foursome is a yell. sacrifice to you—