Judge — December 30, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

} Ten Ways to Tell a Frosh IS dumb look. His wild running around. The gentle way in which he sits down. His dumb look. His load of books under his arm. His dumb look. The amount of His boasting High. His dumb look. His dumb look. —Northwestern Purple Parrot. tae OU can talk about a quarter in an old discarded vest, Or the ten spot on the sidewalk, and your gold bricks and the rest, F a marker to the kes me glad For I found a quart of likker that I didn’t know I had. he buys. Normal “college goods” about Oshkosh —Lafayette Lyre. was Stude—Is your Professor satisfied with you? Frosh—He certainly must be. To-day he said, “If all my pupils were like you, I would resign to-morrow!” ‘Thi he thinks I know enough.—Kansas Sour Out. With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible T WAS the witching hour when all was hushed and da Suddenly the mid- night stillness was broken by a crash from upstairs. -g-g-good Lord, what was that, dud- exclaimed the timid young To the College Wits Judge’s Annual College Wits number will be published early in May next. It is time to begin to think of contributions to this number, all of which must be original. Jokes, poems, little essays, all with the wit and humor that characterize the College Comics themselves, are desired by His Honor. Of course the issue should have amusing illustrations of the kind that have made previ- ous College Wits Numbers of Judge highly enjoyable. There will be room for one or two good humorous stories, and the cover, in colors, should be a wonder. All contributions for this number will be paid for, and March Ist is the limit of time for their receipt. Adonis “N rely father dropping a hint,” she snuggling closer.—Yale Record. Wits Address, College Editor, Judge, 627 West 43d Street, New York. She —Jo Tacks idiotically happy lately. Some one leave him something? He—Yeah. Somebody left two She (to escort at football game)— Can you tell me what that big horn is in the band? He—The helicon. “Why, Jim!"—Chicago Phoenix. sae HAVE read Bernard Shaw And Edgar Lee Master And I have conned the Mohammed Through and through; I know Wilhelm Meister As my own fathe: ‘The cosmos of the diacomos Is Jean Fabre tom The flowing f Of Ming are mine, And T like Henry James And Arnold Bennett And Walter I The flowing f And Nietzche, Man and superman, And Tam Phi Beta K. Rhodes, per And more— But oh, T cannot, Cannot, Cannot, Understand that darned girl! Missouri Showme. * Alkoran of “Where are the student quarter ight here; I just cleaned up a crap Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. game. quarts in his car.—Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. Diner—Hey, waiter, this hasn't any tips. Waiter—Oh, those are for the waiter.— —Amherst Lord Jeff. sae asparagus ttt “VE been in college, now, twelve years, But I'm hoping for the best. T’ve seen three classes graduate, T really need a good long rest. No, silly, compound—it’s a Pitt. Panther. alimony. isn’t. a chemical physical reaction.— I'm growing old, and still in school; My chance is growing lesser, But I don’t mind, P'm getting paid— For I’m a good professor. —Notre Dame Juggler. Pee Bill—How does it happen. that old grouchy skinflint is always smiling lately? Bull—He read a paper on the conser tion of energy and found that it takes sixty-five muscles to frown and only fifteen to smile.—Oregon Ag. Orange Oul. as Prof—What is the difference between “Twill hire a taxi” and “I have hired a tas A peach came walking down the street; She was more than passing fair; A smile, a nod, a half-closed And the peach became a 5 —Johns Hopkins Black and Blue Jay. = After—About seven dollars and a half. Son (to father who is showing him the faculty portraits in’ Alumni Memorial Hall)—Papa, why don’t they print them in the funny paper?—Michigan Gargoyle. —Where did Mr. Chattie get that of his? 25—He used to take oratory in a barbers’ college.—Texas Scalper. ey Gwendolyn—Y ou know, darling, see- ing is believing. Darling—Well, how men must be- lieve the women of to-day!—Toronto Goblin. Familiar One—Which going? Fastidious One—The other way.—Wis- consin Octopus. way are you 23