Judge — September 30, 1922 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Gisext WiLKiNsoN, The Old Man—Bah! they brought in petrol they was going to still 'ave to do it myself. The Next Thing in “Palaces” OVIE theaters to seat 4,000 are becoming quite common in the plans filed with the Building Depart- ment. To get a real rise out of a blasé publ however, some syndicate will ave to plan a monster “movie palace” entirely without seats, but into which, through spacious lobbies, motorists may drive their own cars of an evening, park them in orderly files (no fear of auto thieves) and see the show from their own Fords, Pierce-Arrows, or whatever it is they drive. The trouble with movie theaters, with a very few exceptions, is that they are such uncomfortable places in which to fall asleep. Imagine having the movies lull you to slumber on your own cool slip-covers, over your own thick upholstery! Imagine the luxury! Such a theater should require no more than a square city block, and what is a mere city block to movie magnates, when money is easy? Besides, by the destruc- tion of a block square of old houses, cheap flats, etc., the number of domestic accommodations would be materially reduced, and it would be possible for landlords to boost rents another notch, SAS “Bottles fell from their shelves” when a meteor dropped in western Canada. These scavengers of space constitute a growing menace. When they brought in steam they was goin i But I notice i lo wonders. Trate Wife—John, I just got hold of your check stubs, and it was high time I did! Who is this Cash person you've been spending so much money on? ey Father and son standing in front of “Teller’s” window: nede—And what does he tell, Dad, ories? You're right. These days, he does! Pts Uncle Tom—And what are you study- ing to be when you grow up, Ernest? Ernest (proudly)—A banker. “Jane! Lock up everything in the house at once!” sas “Won't you come and make a four at bridge, sir?” “I’m exceedingly sorry, old man, but I don’t play bridge.” “You don’t play bridge? Then what on earth did you join a golf club for?” PHS “T hear that Eth Souers has the repu- tation of bein’ the biggest liar in Indy- anner.”” “Yep. He even has to have his neigh- bors call his hawgs.” sas A woman may trim over her old hat, so 7 to do wonders. When I wants anything done I The Economist by Dwight Marvin IN MARCH I sang to Alice; I said her beauty bright Was nothing but a chalice From which I drank delight— Her presence was a palace And I her guardian knight. In May I sang to Cora, The one star in my sky; I searched the realms of Flora For names to know her by. I called her my Aurora, My flame that could not dic. In June I sang to Mary, Her banter and her wit, Her form so lithe and airy, Her smile so exquisite; She was my hoped-for fairy And love ended it! By fall the same thing ailed me— T was in love again. The fires of y failed me Yet fever burned my brain; So I took the rhymes of other times, And made them o’er for Jane. SID After all, love is probably nothing but as to convince her friends that it is new, a chemical reaction. But aren't the but ske can’t kid herself into believing it. laboratory experiments interesting? 20 comicbooks.com