Judge — September 30, 1922 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Edwin Levick. Wile Chief Justice Taft was delivering a lecture in Portland, Ore., hisfriend, Bishop Keator, entered the auditorium, and the ex-President jnmmedistely sandwiched this story into LS The Bishop was absorbed in a book while seated in a Pullman car. The porter scrutinized him very carefully, and said, “’Scuse me, Senator, anythin’ ah kin do fo’ you’, suh?”” The Bishop replied in the negative. The porter returned again soon, and asked, “Shall ah open de window, Guv'net The response once more was, “No thanks.” A third excursion he ventured, “Scouse me, Kuh’nel, kain’t ah brush yo’ off?” The Bishop looked up. oF por- ter,” he said, “I’m not a senator, or a governor, or a colonel; nothing but a r, common Episcopal bishop.’ “Yassah, Bish’p, replied | the darky, “but ah jes’ don’ knewed yo’ wuz one o” dem face cawds,”” sas It WAS a very hot day and the fat commuter who had wanted to catch the four-fifty-five train passed through the gate at four-fifty-six. He made a valiant race but was outclassed, and as he returned, perspiring and weary, an ob- sequious red cap relieved him of his grips and inquired solicitously: “Was you tryin’ to catch that train, Cap?” “Certainly not,” replied the victim irritably. “I was only chasing it out of the yard.” Pas EORGE L. MEDILL, State Bank Commissioner, Dover, Del., hands these anecdotes to Junge: A bank moved into temporary quar- Told at the ters while making alterations to its build- ing and displayed the sign: “Temporary rs.” A young coin collector stepped into the bank and asked if he might get five dollars worth of the “temporary quarters.” A new office boy was sent to a bank by his employers to get a check certified. Presenting the check, he said: ‘Please crucify this check.” § The banker who couldn’t take his mind off his business 12 Ardsley Country Club, N. Y. | ak been reading some “fads” in a golf azine, says F. S. Root, of Fall River, Mass., and now I see clearly what a fool I have been. All these years I’ve been trying to lengthen my drive, but somehow or other I'd never “arrive.” But if only I'd listened to what the ‘‘ads” say, T'd have been a long driver before this , late day. What makes me think so? Well, listen to this: “To get fifty yards more by using this club, (A, McWhiz.) “The ‘Go-Lightly’ ball will lengthen your drive, at least 10 per cent., sure as you're alive. “Use this ‘Rubber-roid’ tee, it don’t cling to the ball, you'll get twenty yards more; with no effort at all. “Have your clubs wound with ‘Gum- Stickem Grip,’ it will help out your game "cause your fingers can't slip. “Carry a ‘Feather Light’ “hag, and you'll save enough strength to add to your shots some considerable length.” sas A YOUNG man and his grandfather were riding the St. Lawrence in a high-powered motor boat. The grand- father, a rather self-opinionated old man who had made good in the business world and was now enjoying life leisurely was driving the boat at a pretty good clip. “Grandfather,” spoke up the young man rather anxiously, “there are a Jot of shoals in this river.” “I know every shoal in the St. Law- rence, my son.” No sooner had the old man said this than the craft hit a rocky bottom and reared to the right. “There’s one of ’em, now,” he said, never lessening the speed of the boat. comicbooks.com