Judge — September 30, 1922 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For Those Who Golf and Those Who Don’t by Alfred P. Reck I™ MAY be that you dubbed your shot And sliced the ball clear off the lot. Don’t start explaining, man alive, Go on and drive. Look forward to the rolling green Not backward at the traps you've seen, For better shots just always strive, Go on and drive. What difference if you fluked your shot? Just give ’em all the stuff you've got, Keep going, then you'll soon arrive, Go on and drive. Just grip your club and make a try And please forget the alibi, Speak truthfully and don’t connive, Go on and drive. Then if you're beaten in the fray Remember you've another day. Forget {t, man, you’re still alive, : Go on and drive The lessons learned in life and play Are just the same, so plug away, You never get there ‘less you strive, Go on and drive. AAD EORGE B. CHRISTIAN, JR., sec- retary to President Harding, is credited with the following golf yarn: An elderly man of much avoirdupois and more imbibing in the prohibited liquors insisted on playing his usual after- noon of golf. His friends, realizing his condition, tried to keep him from teeing up, but upon finding his mind so made up to play secured two caddies to escort him and hold him up. He teed up for the first hole, staggered around a bit and then swung with all his strength at the ball. Luck was with him and the ball went sing straight and true, bounded thirty feet in front of the green, rolled: up, circled the cup and dropped in. Because of his condition the golfer’s eyes failed to follow the course of the ball. Starting down the fairway with his caddies on either side he asked, “Caddie, where ish ma ball?” The caddie answered him, “It’s in the hole, sir, it’s in the hole.” This did not scem to please the golfer so he inquired again, “Caddie, where did ya shay ma ball wuz?” “In the hole, sir.” “All right, then, gib me my niblick,” came the astonishing command. Pas MEE was building a stone wall on a very swampy piece of land. His friend, passing by, realizing that a griev- ous mistake was being made, hailed Mike and asked why he built a stone wall on such a very unreliable piece of soil. “No sooner will you have it built,” said he, “than it will topple over.” = “Shure,” said Mike, “all thim thin; = have been thought of. If you Batical| be Deri AT am building the wall three feet high and THEY DO five feet wide so-that when it topples over “319 yards! Well, kid, I suppose you call that a two-shotter?” it will be bitter than before.” “Yes, sir; we call it that, but most of ’um takes more.” IR comicbooks.com