Judge — August 19, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HUGHES’ ZOO The Money Habit BY Watt Mason ars T salted down the plunks in kegs and boxes, ory and trunks. And this was strange, for in my youth T wasn’t wise to that g truth that money safely placed in brine makes many woes take in their s Xs youth passed by I sobered down, and as the town I saw a hundred poor old boys whose age was destitute of joys; and all life’s comforts, smooth and nice, they were denied—they lacked the price. Old men who should have basked at ease were pounding sand or chop- ping trees; and some were on the poorhouse road, to make that place their punk abode. And so T said aloud, “Odsfish! That sort of end T do not dit is up to me to save the minted guilders, bright Tl now begin, though it be late, to save the well- sight.” wish, 3 and bri known | the shilling and OT began to salt them down, the gri the crown; at first it w ghastly che I longed to blow them at the store, to frolic in my Henry along the glowing G White W But when Vd saved a decent habit charmed my soul; it w ume that I © me pleasure unalloyed. in another silver buck and add it to my pile—what luck! Once men had found me free of hand; I red coins to beat the bar but now when drivesmiths id asked me for five bones or three to help to paint the vill church, T bade them come down off their perch. T knocked on every boost- ing scheme id met assessors with a scream; and when L had to spend a wheel I felt my blood within con And then one y T jarred the grad, and m, that I was mad. I went, as though of sense bereft, and blew in money right and left. I went among the old galoots and treated them to fresh cheroots, and called the children to the shop where soda squirts sold ice-cold pop, and spent a lot of shining beans for silly books and magazines. I met the banker on the > he thundered, “In the name of Pete, why all this carnival of waste? Get back to sanity in haste!” ‘men think I SAID, “It was by your advice I started putting coin on ice, and it was I] sane and wise that should be fol- lowed by all guys, but I believe, I must admit, a man shoul: know just when to quit. As P've been saving long enough, I now shall try the other stuff. Time was—tw mg gadzook!—when I could read a rattling book, and as I forget my woes, my debts and all such things as_ tho: rates bold I sailed the s nd sloshed in eari to my knees, and wallowing in gore and crime Thad a1 delightful time. But saving spoiled my appetite for readi on a winter night; [ couldn't think of aught but franes, or hoarded kopecks in the banks. Time when my old phonograph would make me nd weep and lau; dT could while long hours av tting troubles grim : ing penny, nick *, made musie seem a waste of time. Instead of hearing golden notes emerging from some high-priced throats, Ud sit and figure how to nail another sample of the kale. “In moderation saving p: it’s excellent. for wasteful jays, and it will always make a hit—but one should know just when to quit.” te “These beautiful movie queens—I'm glad they don’t talk.” “Wh “Jus! ook at the grammar we see in the subtitles.” was "Tis the age of good salesmanship. You may live in the wildwood but just write to some concern that you are in the market for a good mousetrap and the world will beat 2 path to your door. ttt w this big fish “Why did you let him get or him in the boat.” “We really didn’t have room time. Cen An ty “He Minn Ma Tt squ Jim iron in The