Judge — August 19, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Written with the Idea of Becoming a Celebrated Poet JRITE about know about,” hers of comp agree. ing I know the most about tehing the T've caught that train a hundred ways, By rail, on foot, by sh And some of them would make your eyes Start from your very head. (How I Caught it in Four Minutes) The time T failed to register And to the Quad d back Thad four minutes and my voice- T hailed a funeral hack (In Three Minutes) And then the time my hat was lost My friends departed off. things you You'll miss the train this time, old thing,” They scornfully did scoff. A lofty wave—my proud reply “Go on, then, if you must!” T climb a “Wellesley Fruit” truck, Pass my friends—they take my dust. (How to do it in Two Minutes) In case of real emergency T have my well-worn wheel, And many times at one past two The need of it If With suitcase balanced on my head, Umbrella in my jaws, I pedal madly villageward, Defying all speed laws. By a Wellesley Girl. at Professor—Well, well! Tm amazed with that young man and his fishing! Second Professor—How is that “Why. he has been here wasting his time for the last three hours and hasn't had a bite yet.” “How do you know that?” “Tve been watching him the time.” —Oregon Lemon Punch. Pd Census Taker (to middle- —And what is your age, madam? Spinster (coyly)—T've seen just twen- ty-five summers. “How long have Minnesota Sii-U- whole spinster) you been blind?”— ah ry Maudie—What’s wrong with the car? Tt squeaks dreadfully. Jimmie—Can't be helped; there's pig- iron in the axles.—Columbia Jester. Z) The Eternal Ethiopian Triangle —Cornell Widow. With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Frosh—Why do you buy your clothes on the installment plan? Senior—Because they always give me goods that will last at least until the last ry vania Punch payment is made. Boul. tae Fair Damsel (watchit Just think how much 1 if he didn't have to carry Dartmouth Jack-o'-Lantern. pole vault er he would go that stick! Ray—Is my next partner pretty? Rosalie—She’s so pretty that men don’t even notice the color hose she has on.—Cornell Widow. ttt ‘D RATHER GO To sce my queen Than ta To see the Td rather sleep a han go to class; her, but can’t, alas! For if T hope To e’er get through, Tl have to work And study, too; But if P'm alway With a queen, When mid-year comes I'll see the dean. —Johns Hopkins Black and Blue Jay. oer , why does Santy Claus wear a beare “Because neckties, son.” he has so many Christmas Boston Beanpot. 23 rl to the movies, ectly harmless to accept her invitation to dinner, nd to extend her your T'S SAFE to take to go riding in her ea arm when strollit And. it’s ple: paper with her it to read the funny but when she subscribes to “The House Beautiful” and bi collecting “plans for bungalow builders” from the daily paper—you had better fraternity house and go to Ohio Sun Dial. stay in the school by the back way. TPE other day « | his coat in th owner of this coat is a member of the team and can deliver a knockout ) pounds. I shall return in boxi blow of 2 five minu When hi but The owner of this cod me back the coat was gone, “You tis a member of the the si track team and can do the half mile in two minutes flat. I shall not return.” Penn State Froth. tas fl Dae prodi ri father’s door- bell. The — white-haired, venerable ok 1 man recognized him at once. » you come to save the old home- he queried IV. ke me in, father—I am destitute.” » old man glared at him. ‘ou missed your cue. This is the third And he amed the door. rnal love!” muttered the prodigal savagely. “I shall foreclose to- “—Grinnell Malteaser. have act.” son morrow.” L > ae Millie—Oh, 8. O. S. Terry—What do you mean—S. O.S.? “Same old story!"”—Stanford Chap- arral.