Judge — August 12, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

That Awful Moment WHEN Mary, trying her best to make a good impression, glimpses herself in the mirror and finds that her nose has acquired a most unbecoming “sandpaper studding the TL quaff my cooling drink. Phe millions of stars ¢ When John first hears his young describing him as “behind the time “rusty on rugby.” When Alice inexact duplicate of the “model ha has bought at the exclusive French millinery shop, on the head of her hated rival. : : When Bill, in the full glory of his first With the College Wits dress suit, finds that somehow, his tie is . . not “just like the other fellows’. Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible When Elizabeth hears her choicest tid hit of gossip (which she has stored up fo i TS a velvet night. The moon is a 4 GOOD-LOOKING girt is sitting at t the afternoon tea) given with relish) by silver crescent hanging low in the sky. 4% the next table, her best friend When Dick takes “the one and only heavens with tiny points of soft five ‘To the car comes the gentle patter, Toronto of wavelets on a wee nearby lake. She smiles. r another drink. for a spin and runs short of * miles from the nearest garage Goblii It is ina garden. There is a breeze, kissing lightly each newborn) bud) and IT smile smile _ _ a fragrant blossom. ‘The night isideal, It So so do do the girl { Jis one made for love—a soft, tender, LT order order another another. | romantic night. They they sure are pretty girls. \ dark form flits through the But but but they all three look alike!!! It steps with light) and) careful fnnapolis Lay = PN as Perhaps it is a lover, hastening with tat " S) ina) bed OR breathless, beating heart to his sweet- THENAS in knickers Julia . Ve to lay before her his devotion W Till then, methinks one scarcely 7am | and love. Perhaps it is a husband, in knows rity spired by the heavenly night, on his way ‘The purpose served by common clothes. homeward to tell his little wife that she Ah, perhaps, but look again—look closer, Parentheses from foot to knee, What is it? It isa darky stealing water. Oh. how her rashness shocketh me! Cornell Widow. | | ‘mulde, | is the only lady love in the world for him, For when I drop my eves and sce melons.— Brown Jug. tte Prey THERE was a fair maid from Cologne ring school they Who had a style all Herogne, tus or was he Wore long skirts and curls, } f a blooming idiot—who braced Dean No rouge, powder, pearls j - W Leland with a complicated set of gears But she stays cutirely Alogne. | oll and wheels which he called a perpetual Yale Record. mi * | motion machine, ~ = “i “TD jes’ brot this in to show you. It's | Bowditch compiles his first set of # perpetual motion machine. Ye see oseful tables: these wheels are so heavy that when you —Annapolis Log once start ‘em goin’ they just keep on turning, and they ll lift er pull whatever pre Socialist Agitator—Think of the poten 1 ah 7 tial musicians who lack the money to buy said the Dean But how an instrument; think of the artists who ity ‘s with gravity.” hed will never have the opportunity to paint: uy think of the great-minded ones who can. {tickly. “We'll rded use lots of ” Minnesota Sli-u-mah, | not study Stude— Yes, dammit, that’s me.— Penn- Bae syltania Punch Bowl This course puts some of the most reed lish ideas into a girl's head.” “You Yanks,” arked omy English friend, “Just make a fellow lawf Nothing practical. Just listen to this: “Then La ‘leanor walked alone in the garden.” Grinnell, Malteaser, At first you you're on a boat And then vou shout ‘We're off." et ai Colgate Banter Vight Watchman —Who goes there? + Professor —\ professor with two friends. “T have a good job at the confer “What, a professor with two friends! ] tioner’s.” Enter!" —Wiseonsin Octopus. | What do you do?” use | “Milk chocolates.” — Missouri Showme. fbsent-minded Professor (to servant wae You say there is a collector at the door? do Did you tell him Twas out? Father—My son is reckless, carcles Old Grad—When I was in college indiff rent of consequences, . Servant— Yes, sir, but he didi’t believe we used to have a bar in the basement. Friend—Good heavens! I didn't know me. Rising Generation—Sh! Sh! We you had made a taxi driver out of him “Well, T guess I will have to go and tell, pave to keep a little still about our Michigan Gargoyle. him myself."—Colorado Do Do. basement now.—Oregon Lemon Punch. =