Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Young, Handsome Man—Is there a letter for me here, post restante, ad- dressed “Ever Thine”? Maiden—No. But perhaps if you look back a little later in the day.— Kasper (Stockholm). Ry LMT Tommy and his younger sister were going to bed together without a light. They had just reached the bottom of the stairs, when Tommy, looking into the darkness and feeling a little nervous, turned around and asked: “Ma, is it polite for a gentleman to go before a lady when they have to walk in single file?” “No, my son,” replied the mother. “The lady should always take the lead.” “I thought so,” said Tommy, delight- edly. “Go ahead, Susie.”—Chicago News. ed HE leading lady of an theatrical company met the leading man of an outgoing troupe at a railway “Did you have a good house she asked eagerly. 0, pretty small,”” he admitted. “Too bad; but perhaps you got a lot cf applause?” “Well,” he hesitated, “there was a dog that managed somehow to get into the place, and once I thought I noticed him wag his tail.”—Pearson’s Weekly (Lon- don). incoming wis IRWIN said in a lecture on birth control: “An opponent of birth control said to me one day: “ “By George, Will, alittle birth control in our family wouldn’t have done any harm, I must admit. Why, Will, there were so many of us children that we had to eat at three tables—first, second and third, you know, like a church festival. I was the most unlucky little chap in the world.’ “ ‘How so?’ I asked. “Why,” said the birth control oppo- nent, ‘I, being the youngest, always had to eat at the third table, and I was fifteen years old, Will, before I knew that a chicken had anything but a neck.”"— Detroit Free Press. tat “You say that this man has a grudge ‘ou?”* demanded the judge. » your honor,” replied Bill the beggar. “When I w: ind he usta steal the pennies from my cup, and when I was a cripple he'd run down the strect with my box of pencils. “Anything else?” “Yes, your honor. Once when I was deaf and dumb he shot off a firecracker underneath —me.”—American — Legion Weekly. Rael bs ice little farm you have here.” “You ought to see the mortgage on it,” growled the gloomy agriculturist. “Cheer up. You'll pay off that mort- gage some d. “Don’t beliove I ever will. I might have done it, but a couple of dadblamed prohibition agents wrecked my still and now they watch me so close I can’t do nothin’ but farm.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Rated “My wife says she will leave me if I don’t quit smoking,” said Mr, Meekton. “Going home to her mother?” “No. Her mother smokes more than I do.” oar “ashington Star. “Pardon, sir, br* will you sign this accident insurance policy? “wi “It says here the world uses between 3,000,000 and 4,000,000 needles a day,” remarked Mrs. Grouch. “Must mean phonograph needles,” growled her husband, “‘because the wives certainly don’t use the other kind any more.”—Brooklyn Eagle. Fat Mistress—But why did you leave your last place? Cook—’Cos the master used to have such rows with the missus. “What did they quarrel about?” “The way the meals was cooked.”— London Mail. Friend—Useful little car you've got there, Smith! How much did you have to pay for it? Smith—I couldn’t say, old man. I haven’t been sued for it yet!—Passing Show (London). PAH “What is the difference between ‘well- known’ and ‘popular’?” “Well, I can tell. you in a sentence. Mr. Volstead is probably the best-known man in the land to-day, but you couldn’t call him the most popular.”’—Detroit Free Press. tae “What fool told you to place those papers on that file?” “You did, sir!” “Well, leave them here—you're dis- charged for calling me a fool.”—London Answers. But you must be quick!” “Because you are sitting on the hat of that prizefighter."—Klods Hans (Copenhagen). a comicbooks.com