Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“I see the big fight last night only took eighty seconds—were you there?” “Ye-es; but got so bored—didn’t stay to the end.”—London Opinion. cgro went to the governor see and said, “Massa v'na, we'’s mighty po’ this winter and Ah wish you would pardon mah ole man.” “What was he put in for?” asked the governor. “Stead of workin’ fo’ it, that good-fo’- nothin’ nigger done stole some bacon.” “If he’s good for nothing, what do you want him back for?’ “Well, you see, we’s all out of bacon ag’in,” said the old negress innocently.— Los Angeles Times. tot “What makes girls run about the way they do?” snarls a petulant club woman, and a timid exchange suggests they may be trying to find their mothers.—Kansas City Journal. PROSPEROUS barrister was re- counting his career at a dinner arty. “When I took my first brief,” “IT was very nervous and pecially as my was a man of good family. would have been fatally tarnished ‘had the rascal been convicted. Luckily managed to get the beggar off.” After dinner a millionaire entered. He was a friend of the host, who presented the K. C, to him. “I do not need to be introduced to this gentleman,” observed the millionaire, “I met him long ago; in him a start in life. In fact, I was his first client.” The noisy hilarity which greeted the announcement was never explained to the late comer.—London Telegraph. sae Tourist—Why, Donald, you surprise me. You don’t like the English people and yet you have an English wife. Donald (with a sigh): Ay, mon, that accounts for it.—Boston Transcript. T WAS a well-known writer of verse to whom a lady said: “I have just seen your wife for the first time since your narriage; but I had supposed she was a taller woman. She seems shorter than when I saw her last.” Certainly,” said the writer solemnly. ‘She has married and settled down.” Philadelphia Public Ledger. EMINENT phys attended a number of medical students, was making the round of a hospital ward, and stopped beside a bed whereon lay a man with a very prominent chest. The physician, having elicited from the sick man the fact that he was in the habit of playing a wind instrument, went on: “Yes, yes; all the puffing and straining is most prejudicial to the lungs, most prejud “What wind instrument used you to play?” he asked, addressing the patient. To the huge delight of the students the patient replied: “The concertin ir.” —Detroit News. aid the musician They go “There are song: “that have never, never died. ringing down the age: That is true, sir,” Brown replied. “For the past six months and upward I have heard my daughter try to kill two ng, but they never, never die.”—Tid Bits (London). ery “I see this shoe shining parlor has a telephon “Well: “Why does a shoe shining parlor need a telephon “Aw, somebody might want a shine by wire.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. tat Apre NKARD of long standing had been reformed by an operation which removed a bone th brain. Newspaper: of cures effected b; rail that was pres Kansas City Star. pressed Iso report a number removal of a brass “You are a nice fire brigade, to come when the fire is extinguished!” “Extinguished? —Kasper (Stockholm). 23 Why didn’t you wait? Couldn’t you hear us coming?” comicbooks.com