Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 i “Shall we go sailing?” “Yes, if you can find a storm-free boat.”—Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). sas HEN the school inspector walked the class pulled itself together and determined not to make any mis- take this time. All went well until the inspector picked on Jimmie. “Now, my lad. plural of mouse? “Mice, id Jimmie. “Right,” said the inspectot now, what is the plural of bab; “Twins!” said Jimmie—and that did it—London Answers. HAs “T'd do something for that cough if I were you, old man.” “That cough, my dear boy, is indis- Whenever a life insurance s to see me I turn it on and he s longer than three minutes.” —Boston Transcript. Rey “Daniel was a piker; he didn’t have any nerve!” The thin, pale person who muttered thus lifted his lip in a sneer. “He was a piker,” he added, scorn- fully. “He on! nt into a den of lions.” A moment passed—a moment of tense contempt. “TI,” he continued, “I am a greater man than Daniel was! For I am on my way to interview the cashier at the bank where I am_ overdrawn!”—Richmond Times-Dispatch. he said, “what's the “And tat “Our communist friends,” said Samuel Gompers at a labor banquet, “often re- mind me of Joe Gillinganovitch. “As Joe Gillinganovitch, smoking thoughtfully, watched a large building operation, a boss came up to him and said: “ ‘Hey, you, want a job?” “Joe took his pipe out of his mouth. “T can only work in the mornings,’ he said slowly. “Rats! Why can’t you work in the afternoons?” said the boss. “Well, you see,’ Joe explained, ‘in the afternoons I always carry a banner in the unemployed _ parade.’ ”—Detroit Free Press. “I see befo’ me,” said the colored preacher on Easter Sunday, “twelve chicken stealers, includin’ Kentucky Joe.” After the morning service Joe made it clear to the parson that that slanderous statement must be withdrawn if the preacher's nose was to remain intact. At the evening service the preacher rose to the occasion, “Now I see befo’ me,” he declared, “nine stealers, not in- cludin’ Kentucky Joe.”—Chicago Herald- Examiner. tas Every now and then a fellow bobs up with six or seven wives and the men who can’t even keep one get disgusted with themselves.—Minneapolis News. tas “That there newcomer from up North is a tollable fair sort of a feller,” estimated a resident of Mount Pizgy in the Ozarks. “To be shore, he don’t keep more’n two or three dogs, but he’s got a fiddle that he’s willing to loan.”—Kansas City Star. ee nA “This movie ought to be good.” “Why so?” asked the saturnine citizen. “Harold Heartbreak, the _ peerless screen lover, leaps from a precipice two thousand feet high.” “Does he break his neck?” “Of course not. It's just a camera tric en that particular movie is not worth a quarter to me.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. tot Cake-:ater—That man you were just talking to is a mind reader, Flapper—Impossible. Why, I was just dying for some ice cream all the time I was with him.—American Legion Weekly. tas asked Johnny, “What is a two fellows to strip for a fight and then runs off with their clothes.” —New Haven Register. Small Boy (in reply to kind inquiries)—I’m crying ’cos I got dust on my new trousers. Inquirer—But you needn’t cry now. They look quite clean. “Yes, but mother wouldn’t let me take ’em off while she dusted them.”— London Mail. 21 comicbooks.com