Judge — July 29, 1922 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Even the Sphinx laughs at the great American Volstead desert—in the Follies of 1922 Digest of the World’s Humor | “I’m no saying a word against Mac- Tavish; I’m only saying that onybody that gaes to your funeral should be forced to pay an amusement tax.”— Passing Show (London). Ree Me LINKINS, the junior member of the firm, had a peculiarly irritating sneeze. It began with an elaborate and terrifying series of facial convulsions, and ended with a most lame and impotent paroxysm that always disappointed the expectant observer. “Your sneez aid Mr. Jenkins, the senior partner, after watching him through one of his performances, “is a regular cire id Mr. Linki the rejoinder. ‘The per- formance never comes up to the advance notices.” —Philadelphia Ledger. PR “How does Mr. Grumpson stand with his neighbors?” “Not well, I fear.” “No?” “If you were to ask them to name his good points about all they could say in his favor is that he doesn’t try to play on any musical instrument.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Pd “Mr. President, would you mind men- tioning me for the Cabinet?” “My good friend, there are no vacancies in the Cabinet.” “I know that, but it might get me a baseball or movie offer.”—Kansas City Star. EPRESENTATIVE CARAWAY, of Arkansas, said of a man who had failed: “He was doomed to fail. His life had been, in fact, but a series of failures. “The first chapter of this series began in an insurance office, where he obtained his first job, that of office boy. “He has only just begun on this job when his boss looked up from an im- portant letter one morning and said irritably: “Don’t whistle at your work, boy. ““T ain't workin’, sir,!’ he answered. ‘I'm only whistlin.’ "—Louisville Courier Journal. oa Well-meaning Golfer—Do you think it quite safe to bring that child across the links? Matilda (used to golfers)—Oh, it’s all right, sir. I shouldn’t think of bringin’ ’im if ’e warn’t as deaf as a post, poor little chap.—London Weekly Telegraph. sas “How do people live in such small flats?” inquired the visitor from the country. “Easily,” replied Miss Cayenne. “No two members of the family are likely to be at home simultaneously.”—Washing- ton Star. soe Wigg—Bill went all to pieces. And what do you think his wife said to him? Wag—What did she say? “Bill, collect yourself!”—London An- swers. 20 “Who had the right of w: the traffic officer after the crash. “T did,” shouted an angry individual, as he crawled out of the wreck of his machine. “All right,” replied the officer, “brush the dirt off yourself and come with me. You're under arrest for reckless driving.” —Detroit Free Press. at ?” asked Mother—Jessie, the next time you hurt that kitty, Iam going to do the same thing to you. If you slap it, I'll slap you. If you pull its ears, I'll pull yours. If you pinch it, I'll pinch you. Jessie (after a moment’s thought)— Mamma, I'll pull its tail—London Opinion. st “Do you s’pose it’s possible to love two fellas at the same time?” anxiously asked Yvonne of the rapid fire restaurant. “Not if they ketch you at it!” briskly replied Heloise of the same establish- ment.—Kansas City Star. Ste Sillicus—Does the Bible explain just why Methuselah happened to live so long? Cynicus—I think not; but my own private opinion is that some woman must have married him for his money.—New York Sun. _“That confounded dog has had pup- pies again.”—Kasper (Stockholm). a comicbooks.com