Judge — July 22, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IRGE developed a journalistic in- nct at the early age of fifteen. With the consent of his father and some assistance from the same source he bought an “amateur printing outfit” and started the Klinkerville Monthly Journal, sub- scription price fifty cents a year, payable in advance. “I suppose you call yourself the editor and proprietor of this office,” remarked an envious young associate who dropped in at his “sanctum” in the basement of the paternal dwelling one day. “Of course I do,” responded the youth- ful journal! “T don’t owe a cent on it.” “Proprietor! Umph! Everybody knows you got $25 from your father to start it with.” ” stoutly rejoined George. iption for the Journal is marked paid fifty years ahead on my books!""—Philadelphia Ledger. tae “John,” said the Old Man, thought- fully, “I don’t approve of you running around nights, with all kinds of flappers and flirts. Why don’t you settle down and go with some particular girl?” “That’s it, Dad,” said the Kid, blithely, “they ain’t any of ’em so very particular these days.” —Richmond Times-Dispatch. Hae He—But I asked you, dearest, to keep our engagement a secret for the present. She—I couldn’t help it. That hateful Ella Sharpe said the reason I wasn’t mar- ried was because no fool had proposed to me, so I told her you had.—Boston Transcript. “Dear Lord, I ask nothing for my- self! Only give mother a_son-in- law.’"—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Rad “Ts there any sure way for a farmer to be prosperous?” “Well,” replied Farmer Corntossel, “there’s an element of luck in eve thing. The only sure way for a farmer to be prosperous is to discover an oil well.” —Washington Star. te Mrs. Crawford—Did your wife tell you where she was going? Crabshaw—No. But as she has just heard some secrets I presume she’s some- where in the neighborhood broadcasting. —New York Sun. Doctor—Deep breathing, you understand, destroys microbes. Patient—But, doctor, how can I force them to breathe deeply?—Passing Show (London). 24 A LADY who kept a little curly poodle lost her pet and called on the police to find it. The next day one of the force came with the dog very wet and dirty. The lady was overjoyed, and asked a number of silly questions, one being: “Where did you find my darling?” “Why, ma’am,” said the officer, “a fellow had him on a pole and was washing windows with him!”—The Fuller Bristler. tas “Twas new clothes your husband wore to work this day, were they not, Mrs. O’Marra?” the section foreman in- quiced as he stopped by the O’Marra loor. “They was indeed, but the poor fool would wear them, instead of keeping them for Sunday,” Mrs. O’Marra_re- sponded with an ominous frown. “What of it?” “TI am afraid they are ruined entirely,” the foreman said regretfully. “Run over by a switch engine, they were.” “And how did Pat come to have off his clothes?” Mrs. O’Marra demanded in open mouthed astonishment. “He did not,” the foreman responded briefly.—Country Gentleman. tat “I beg your pardon, sir, but what is your name?” the teller politely asked the man presenting a check. “Name,” echoed the indignant cus- tomer, “don’t you see my signature on the check?” “TI do,” answered the teller. “That's what aroused my curiosity.”—Hibernia Rabbit.