Judge — July 22, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of the World’s Humor PRESIDENT H. 0. VANCE, of Oska- loosa college, said in an address in Oskaloosa: “The post-war changes have hit nobody harder than they have hit the college professor. The college professor is one of the poorest men in the world to-day “A young Latin instructor proposed to g lady and was accepted. After rst tender transports were over they fell into serious talk. ‘Now we are engaged,’ said the young e must begin to economize. ling, that you won’t do *t afford.” young Latin instructor laughed ly: “If I promise you that,’ he said, ‘I'd have to break off our engagement.’ ”— Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. tae “And why should I help you?” de- led the Boston citizen. r,” replied the B ffer you no cohei s must be altruistic.’ got him a dime.—Louieville Cour- jer-Journal. om tramp, “I Your Rad Brokeleigh—I would do anything in my power to prove my love for your daughter. Old Gotrox—Would you support her? “My dear sir, I said anything in my power.’’—Boston Transcript. “Say, Suzette, wait until I have fin- ished my prayers. You know the good Lord cannot hear both of us at the same time.”—Le Journal Amusant Paris). City Lady—Why does that bull look at me like that? Farmer Hill—I suppose it’s your red hat. City Lady—Really! I knew that hat was out of style, but I never thought a bull would notice it!—New York Globe. tae It may be difficult to find a solution for our troubles, but it is safe to say it doesn’t lie in telling them.—Chicugo Daily News. Judge—Why did you stick your knife in this man? Prisoner—Well, I heard the police coming, and I had to hide it somewhere.—Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). TWAS late. The door bell rang. The doctor opened the door, expecting a request for his service. “Miss Caroline Tompkins?” said the late caller. Miss Tompkins was the doctor’s cook. “She has retired,” said the doctor. “This is for her,” said the man, handing the doctor a package from which peeped flowers and buds and leaves “One of cook’s admirers,” the doctor mused, “has bought her a bouquet.” He walked into the kitchen and placed the package in a basin. An indignant cook stood before him next morning. “T wish to give notice,” she announced. “T'll not stay another day in a house where some varmint puts my new hat in a dish of water.” —Kansas City Star. tas “Helen was talking about you before you came in. What do you think she said?” “T haven't an idea.” “Good guess. That's what she said.” —San Francisco Examiner. tat “Are there any old-fashioned Southern gentlemen about here?” “A few. Only the other day I saw one make a gallant attempt to hold his hat in one hand and steer a fat woman through a revolving door with the other.” —Birmingham Age-Herald.