Judge — July 22, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible THe great court of King Arthur had once more convened. ‘The long rays of the fast setting sun gave a curious light to the armored figures that predominated in the gathering. The king arose and after the customary introductory re- marks, began to speak concerning the need of three extra leaves for the round table. A man of commanding presence, im- maculately clothed and of handsome features leaned languidly toward the queen. It was none other than Launce- lot, a man of many affairs. “Let's get out of here,” he whispered tersely. “This is going to be pretty dry.” The queen nodded in assent and the two, unobserved, made their exit. “You're wonderful this evening,” said Launcelot to the queen when they had reached the veranda. “I know,” answered the queen. “But we must be more careful. I think my husband is getting wise.” “Never mind,” answered Launcelot. “Let’s sit over in the nook.” * * * “Stop,” said the queen, sharply break my hairnet.”—Cornell Widow. tae ou'll She—I could die waltzing. He—Excuse me while I speak to the orchestra leader.—Colorado Dodo. QUICK WORK Manager—You get two minutes to change costumes between scenes. Flossie—Gee, that gives us nothing to do for a minute and a half, doesn’t it?—Texas Scalper. Nep—How did the swimming team come out? Tune—Wet.—Williams Purple Cow. Bosh—Just saw a man with his arms off at the shoulder cutting wood. Quite a difficult stunt. Frosh—How did he do it? “He held the handle in his mouth and turned somersaults.”—Orange Oul. tae Chemical Instructor—We owe a great deal to chemistry. 1925—Yes, look at all the campus blondes.—Northwestern Purple Parrot. + Sas Gentleman Crook—Pardon, me, sir, but haven't I held you up before? Weary Victim—Well, the gun looks familiar but I’ve forgotten the face. —Wisconsin Octopus. tas “As you were,” said Mary Jane, as she assisted her roommate in removing cosmetics and taking off false curls.— Syracuse Orange Peel. tas Professor—Now when two bodies in motion come together, is heat generated? Voice from the rear—No, sir; I hit a guy yesterday and he knocked me cold. —Carnegie Puppet. SIH Father (visiting college)—Son, those are better cigars than I can afford. Son—That’s all right, Dad, take all you want; this is on me.—Virginia Reel. 21 HE town clock announced the arrival of midnight. “Hurrah!” shouted Judge Fairly’s supporters. “The Judge has been elected Mayor!” “Let’s go to his house and give him three cheers!” suggested one of them. “But,” objected another, “he is asleep.” “Then,” popped up a third, “let’s give three rousing cheers!”"—Princeton Tiger. att Junk Dealer—Any old clothes? Student—Naw. Got plenty of them. —Chicago Phoenix. tae Dr. Bailey (looking at thermometer)— Humm! I don’t like your temperature. Sick Student—Then why did you take it?—Harvard Lampoon. tae “The Biblical story of the creation must have been written by a baseball reporter.” “How so?” “It starts out ‘In the big inning—’” —Denison Flamingo. tat Voice from the Bathroom—Hey, got any Ivory soap? Voice from the Depths—Wassa matter, wanta wash your head?—New York Med- ley. > Nearsighted Old Lady—Good gra- cious, miss, your skirts are terribly short; and as for your sister’s, they are simply disgraceful!—Toronto Gob- jin, comicbooks.com