Judge — June 17, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aoee Ss | SS = “When I was born nobody thought I should shovel snow.” “When were you born?” “On the 10th of August.” “Well, who thinks about shoveling snow then?”—Meggendorfer Blaetter (Munich). “The lady you just met prides her- “Why do them big city restaurants self on having a serpent’s tongue.” have their bill-o'-fares printed in “How interesting!” exclaimed Miss French?” asked old Riley Ressidew. Cayenne. “I never knew that serpents “B’cuz they couldn't get their had such an appetite for tea and warmed-over vittals ett if they didn't,” chicken salad."—Washington Star. responded Burt Blurt, who had been to the Big Burg often enough to think “You have a charming wife.” he knew.—Kansas City Star. “Yes. I'm lucky in love but unlucky Betty, who is four, had been scolded by auntie for some misdemeanor, and her feelings were badly hurt. She kept referring to the matter, and say- ing to aunty: “All right for you. I don’t care about you any more.” Finally auntie retorted: “Well, all right for you, then. If you don’t care about me any more I won't need to get you that ice cream cone I in- tended to buy you.” Betty looked abashed for a moment. She did not wish to unbend so far as to accept a bribe, but she disliked to lose that ice cream cone. Then her face brightened with a happy thought. “Oh — uh — April fool!” she said, triumphantly.—De- troit Free Press. “Who is the wisest man mentioned in the Scriptures?” asked a teacher of one of her Sunday school class. “Paul,” exclaimed the little fellow, confidently. “Oh, no, Johnny; Paul was a very good man, but Solomon is mentioned as the wisest man.” “Well, my father says Paul was the wisest man, because he never married, and I think my father ought to know,” replied the boy, emphatically.—Los Angeles Times. in cards. She criticizes my plan un- mercifully.”—Louisville Courier-Jour- nal. Some of Ned White's neighbors gave him a farewell party Tuesday night. Ned has been an accommodating neigh- bor, but every time a neighbor bor- rowed a wagon or other wheeled implement of him, Ned would say, “By gum, I want you to grease it.” So he was presented with a bucket of axle grease to do him until he got ac- quainted at Centralia—Soldier Clip- per (Mo.). A woman who does not play cards had been invited through courtesy to an “afternoon” on the north side. She fluttered from bridge table to bridge table, chatting pleasantly with the players, until she came to one group where two partners had just com- pleted a game and series. “Rubber!” cried one of the partners triumphantly. And the woman who does not play cards left in a huff.—Indianapolis News. “That couple ought to be ashamed to quarrel on a crowded trolley car,” said the formal gentleman. “I don’t object particularly,” replied the interested eavesdropper. “Tve just picked up some epithets I never heard before.”—Birmingham Age-Her- ald. Mrs. Youngquack—You are so per- severing and hopeful, dear; you remind me of Patience sitting on a Monument. Dr. Youngquack—I feel blue enough to remind you of the monuments sit- ting on my patients.—Medical Quip. Mrs.—No, indeed! 23 Mr.—Have you heard that Sjoberg’s wife has run away? Poor fellow! “Well, he has now calmed down a little, but for the first few days he was delirious—with joy.”"—Kasper (Stockholm). How did he take it? comicbooks.com