Judge — May 13, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Ever catch your husband flirting?” “Yes, once. “What did you do to him?” “Married him.”"—London Mail. President Neilson of Smith College was making a rather tedious journey and was glad when the man who had the seat in front of his turned around and began a conversation. The man proved to be a traveling salesman and took it for granted that Dr. Neilson was another. “What's your line?” he asked. “Mine's skirt: “Well, so is mine,” said the president of Smith—New York Evening Post. Bobby's mother was anxious to know whether he had obeyed her injunc- tions and behaved like a little gentle- man at the party. He assured her that he had. . “When Mrs. Brown asked me to take another piece of cake, I said ‘No, thanks.’”’ “Did she ask you again?” “Yes, and I told her I had enough. But after awhile she handed over the cake and asked me once more.” “And what did you answer that time?” “I said what pa always says. I told her to take the darned stuff away.”— Boston Transcript. “Here now, gents!” sarcastically said Constable Slackputter of Petunia, addressing a group of substantial citizens who were engaged in an argu- ment about nothing in particular, and at the same time nearly blocking the way of pedestrians. “You could stopper up the sidewalk a good ‘eal more effectually if you'd lay down across it.”"—Kansas City Star. “Why are you so sympathetic with France's reluctant attitude with refer- ence to international money matters?” “I'm hoping,” answered Miss Cay- enne, “that my Paris dressmaker will regard it as unfashionable to insist on being paid so punctually.”—Washing- ton Star. Bess—A wife makes a man forget a whole lot of troubles. Bob—That a bachelor never has.— Houston Post. During the social session of a local lodge the other evening the expenses were defrayed by levying fines on the various members for real or fancied infractions of the rules. The forfeits were collected by the sergeant-at-arms. In one instance, however, the ser- geant made no effort to collect the fine, and the chairman directed his attention to the oversight. Again the sergeant remained indif- ferent. Rapping for order, the chairman ex- claimed: “The sergeant-at-arms has refused to collect a fine from brother Amley. We will hear what excuse he has to make.” Amid the painful silence the ser- geant falteringly confessed: “I—I—I owe him money.”—Youngs- town Telegram. An incident that Sir Ernest Shackle- ton always repeated with glee was the reply one of the Irish members made to him when Shackleton asked: “Can you imagine the enormous extent of those vast Arctic snow fields?” “Yes,” replied the Irish member, “I had the same sinsation the first toime I appeared in public wearing a dress shirt."—London Opinion. ae Rector—When did you attend church last, my dear? Little Girl—Please, sir, I came to last Sunday's matinee!—Passing Show (London). comicbooks.com