Judge — April 15, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Fashions are hindrances to health.” “I don’t think so,” rejoined Miss Cayenne. “Only robust people can wear silk stockings in winter and furs in summer.”—Washington Star. “Did your brother have any luck when he was hunting tigers in India, John?” “Yes, sir, great luck—he never met any.”—Irish World. An experienced golfer, in a fit of condescension, invited a novice to a game. The novice, to the golfer’s dismay and disgust, plowed up the ground all round the ball at every stroke. The golfer stood it for a while, but after one particularly vicious dig into the tee, he remarked: “You've revoked.” “We're playing golf, not whist,” said the novice. “Yes,” replied the golfer, “but you have just played a spade where you Algy—Whatever’s that noise upstairs? should have played a club."—Royal Edwina—Perhaps you'd better go now, darling. It’s the maid getting Magazine. up.—London Mail. North—Dobb’s grammar is terrible! He’s always saying, “I got.” West—That’s all right if he got enough.—New York Sun. Nurse—Why, Bobby, you selfish little boy! Why didn’t you give your sister a piece of your apple? Bobby—I gave her the seeds. She can plant ’em and have a whole or- chard.—Kingston Standard. “Ah, a bunch of beautiful roses from Mr. Jobson,” exclaimed Miss Peacher. “I wonder what is on the dear boy’s mind?” “Probably the price of the roses,” said her sarcastic friend.—Birmingham Age-Herald. Some Kansans are tough. One Kan- san who lives near Hiawatha adver- tises that he is so tough he can walk a barbed wire fence barefooted, with a wild cat under each arm, looking for a rattlesnake to jump on. Texas should quarantine against him.—Honey Grove (Tex.) Signal. “Then you wouldn’t let him pro- pose?” “Not last night.” “Why not?” “We were at a bridge.” “Hasn't he won you?” “Yes, but I didn’t want it said that he won me at a bridge party.”—Louis- ville Courier-Journal. “Had a horrible dream last night!” “That so? I would worry about it, if I were you. You know dreams go by contrary.” “Sometimes. But this one, I know, is a true prophecy. I was playing golf and missed a dozen short putts. A man is in a bad way when he doesn’t The Larger Boy—I want a tooth took out, an’ I don’t want gas, ’cos play better golf in his sleep than he Jn in a *urry.” does on the links.”—Detroit Free The Dentist—That’s a brave young man! Which tooth is it? Press. The Larger Boy—Show 'im yer tooth, Albert!—Passing Show (London)