Judge — April 8, 1922 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Ah, how excellent! “Yes, sir. “Why do you insist on preventing your daughter from going on the stage?” “Well,” replied the patient father, “she now believes she has great talent and is happy in the thought. I don’t want her to do something that might destroy a pleasant impression.” — Washington Star. The family were out of town, and the house was left in charge of a young housemaid. On opening the door the first morning she found the charwoman standing there, obviously angry. “T’ve been ringing and ringing here for the last half-hour,” she said. “Why ever didn’t you come sooner?” “Oh, was that you?” replied the housemaid. “You kept on so regular that I thought it was only the telc- phone!”—London Weekly Telegraph. Wife—I wish, dear, that you'd settle my last year’s milliner bill. I really can’t sleep for thinking of it. Hub—Your conscience pricking you, eh? “Oh, no; but I need two more hats right away.”—Boston Transcript. Hokus—Think of the days when the restaurateur used to give a bottle of wine with a table d’hdte dinner. Pokus—And now he thinks he is being mighty generous if he gives a little food with the jazz—New York Sun. “Hubby, you hired a very pretty typist.” “My partner hired her.” “But he says you employed her.” “Does he? That man is really of very little help to me in my work.”— Louisville Courier-Journal. “It’s very nice of you, Jack, dear, to Praise my singing, but you know I haven’t any range.” “Never mind about the range, dear- est. When we are married I’ll buy you one.”—Toronto Telegram. Minister—Why are you late for Sunday School, Tommy? Tommy—lI was goin’ fishin’, but farver wouldn't let me. Did he explain why he wouldn't let you?” . He said there wasn’t enough bait for two!”—London Mail. Hard-headed business men are all right; the trouble comes when there is an excess of ivory.—Rochester Democrat-Chronicle. plat as “Madam,” said the little man in a movie theater, “I can’t see anything but the back of your head.” “Well, sir,” replied the matron, with a frosty look, “do you see anything wrong with it?” Bobby (excitedly)—Some liniment and cement, please! Druggist—Why both at once? “Pa hit ma wid a china cup.”—West- field Leader. Sculptor—My dear young lady, I'm looking for a model who’s aged and ugly. You are entirely too pretty for the type I desire. Model—What are you going to sculp- ture? “A statue of Peace.”"—Le Journal Amusant. “Jack Grabcoin announced that he was going abroad to help restore dev- astated France.” “How’s he getting along with the work?” “The last I heard of him he was helping to make the wine crop prof- itable."—Birmingham Age-Herald. Clerk—So you wish to open a joint account with your husband, current or drawing?” “Qh, deposit for him—drawing for me.”—Kasper (Stockholm). 25 comicbooks.com