Judge — April 8, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Googe While, STRATEGY “Waiter, here’s half-a-crown for you.” “Thank you, sir. Do you wish to reserve a table?” “No. Ina few minutes I shall come in with two ladies, and I want you to tell us that every table is engaged.”—Passing Show (London), Barney Barnard is responsible for the story of the Gentile who bought a packet of cigarettes from Mr. Isaac Isaacstein, his regular tobacconist. “Tsaac,” said the customer after the purchase had been completed, “you gave me a bad shilling in my change the other night.” “Impossible,” answered Isaac. “I never took or gave a bad coin in my life. With my forty years’ experience in handling money, I can tell by the touch at once; physical instinct, my boy. I suppose you managed to get rid of it?” “Yes,” was the reply. “I have just paid it to you for these cigarettes.”"— Pearson's Weekly (London). Diner—Can I get a drink of licker here? Waiter—You ain’t a revenue officer, are you? “Great heavens! Do I have to be a revenue officer to get one?”—New York Sun. “Chollie looks tired. Does he work hard?” “What, Chollie? He works just about as hard as a sundial does on a rainy day.”"—Boston Transcript. On the occasion of her hundredth birthday the village centenarian re- ceived a visit from the vicar. Being anxious to hear from her own lips what she considered had been the source of her strength and sustenance, he said: “My dear Mrs. Adams, pray tell me, in order that I may tell to others, what has been the secret of your longevity?” The vicar waited with unusual eagerness for the old lady’s reply, but he was hardly pre- pared for it when it came. “Victuals!” she answered.—London Post. “What is your favorite novel?” “‘Jack the Giant Killer,’” replied Miss Cayenne. “That is only a fairy tale.” “Which is my reason for liking it, Nobody is going to get you into an argument about it by saying, ‘How true to life the characters are!’ and ‘Isn’t the philosophy a wonderful reve- lation of the human soul!’ ”—Wash- ington Star. Mrs. Stanton Coit, wife of the well known ethical culturist, stood en- grossed in conversation with Bernard Shaw, when suddenly she exclaimed: “Oh, look! There is my husband danc- ing; he has not done so for years.” “Don’t be alarmed,” said Shaw, “he isn’t dancing; that’s the ethical culture movement.”—Survey. “Say, take a look at that kid out there by the ash hopper, and see if he’s one of our’n, will you?” said Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., ad- dressing his wife. ‘‘Prob’bly he is, but I’ve been noticing him off and on for the last four, five days, and he's sorter got me guessing. Mebby you'd better ketch him and wash his face, to make shore.”—Kansas City Star. * “Sometimes, John,” said Brashkin’s wife, “I do get a little discouraged, and think you are hard to please.” “You don’t say so,” was the aston- ishing rejoinder. “Yes, but I must admit there is one thing you never found fault with—the way I look when I wear my last year’s clothes."—Detroit Free Press. “This is a cigar which you can offer to anybody!” “Thank you. (Berlin). 24 I want one which I can smoke myself!”—Der Brummer comicbooks.com