Judge — April 8, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Willie—Is Mr. Smith very ill, doctor? . . Doctor—Yes, my boy; it will be months before he’s about again. “Well, you won’t forget, will you, it was my banana skin he slipped on?— Passing Show (London). Blackstone—He swears he'll never take his wife to the racetrack again. Webster—What happened, did she lose? “Lose? Why, she picked a fifty-to- one shot on the strength of the jockey’s colors, while he lost a cool hundred on the favorite."—New York Sun. “We are offering this de luxe set at $200 to only a few cultured people in each community.” “And where do you get your list of cultured people?” “Right out of Bradstreet.”—Louis- ville Courier-Journal. “You look troubled, Zeke,” remarked ‘Squire Witherbee. “I am that, ’Squire,” said Chigger- ville’s best known loafer. “I’ve been down to th’ gospel tent hearin’ that new sawdust evangelist preach on th’ sin of idleness. Before th’ feller got through, dog my cats if I didn’t think he was personally acquainted with me!"—Birmingham Age-Herald. “Hooray!” exclaimed Mr. Crosslots. “We're going to have a long, hard blizzard!” “Why should that cause you to re- joice?” inquired his wife. “Cook can’t possibly leave till it’s over.”—Washington Star. Among the day’s pathetic figures is the local storekeeper who, locked in a telephone booth by a holdup man, didn’t have a nickel to ’phone for the police.—Buffalo Express. “Girl, I am glad you have broken the engagement.” “Thank you.” “Will you send back my letters?” “No; I thought I’d sell them to a humorous weekly.”—Louisville Cour- Jer-Journal. “Why did you tip your hat to that waiter?” “It costs too much to tip him with anything else.’—Houston Post. A Detroit landlord is accused of having stolen steam from a heating company, ang what the tenants want to know is what he did with it—De- troit News. “What are they debating about now? for twelve hours!” He—So the jury awarded Flossie $200 a week alimony? She—Yes; she says it would seem so good now not to be dependent upon a man for her income!—Wayside Tales. Repeated tests furnish additional evidence that interurban cars are more substantially built than automobiles.— Indianapolis News. “They say a rolling stone gathers no moss,” quoth she. “Maybe not, but I never saw a tramp yet who didn’t need a shave,” he re- plied—New York Sun. “What makes you think that hand- some music teacher is mercenary?” “He charges Betty’s father two dol- lars an hour for making love to her.”— Boston Transcript. “T am sure my daughter is beginning to smoke.” “I hope you have never let her see you smoking.” “T haven’t. But some of my ciga- rettes are missing.”—Louisville Cour- ier-Journal. “What's the excitement down the street?” “Just another home-brew explo- sion.” “Much damage done?” “Yes. The reputation of a deacon has been blown to smithereens.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. They have been on about it now “They are debating as to methods of shortening debates.”—Sondags Nisse (Stockholm). 23 comicbooks.com