Judge — March 25, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“That was too bad about Mr. Trout’s death. How did it happen?” “Well, he’s an aviator, and he took another chance at a fly."—Ohio Wes- leyan Mirror. THEY DO! NCE! Upon a time Some fellow wrote Like this And He was good, And probably Original If you go back Far enough; But ye Gods Don’t his imitators Make you laff? —Boston Beanpot. FREAK ACTIVITY “My curiosity is running away with me,” said the farmer when his two- headed calf broke loose and towed him across the field—Washington and Jef- ferson Wag Jag. MUCH THE SAME “Were you ever pinched for going too fast?” “No, but I've been slapped.”—Wash- ington Sun Dodger. CONVINCED “The perilous pow’r of the skunk Is mere mythological bunk,” Said one Mr. Slater, But just a week later He sold his new trousers for junk. —Harvard Lampoon. With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, WISDOM They were standing at the front gate. “Won't you come into the parlor and sit a little while, Charlie, dear?” “N-no, I guess not,” replied Charlie, hesitatingly. “I wish you would,” the girl went on. “It’s awfully lonesome. Mother has gone out and father is upstairs groaning with rheumatism in the legs.” “Both legs?” asked Charlie. “Yes, both legs.” “Then I'll come in a little while.”— Johns Hopkins Black and Blue Jay. HIS DESTINATION St. Peter—You say you were a writer on a college comic magazine? Applicant—Yes, St. Peter. “Step into the elevator, please.” “How soon does it go up?” “It doesn’t go up; it goes down.”— Virginia Reel. DIPLOMACY Frances—Could you love a girl like me? Francis—Yes, darling, with all my heart. “Would you mind waiting a few minutes while I call my roommate? I have another date to-night.”—Texas Scalper. Gentleman, escorting lady (to road- house proprietor)—Have you any good mushrooms? Proprietor—Waiter, show this gen- tleman to one of our private dining rooms.—Princton Tiger. Irresponsible a Girls will be Boys. —Michigan Gargoyle. DECEITFUL WOMEN She was a pretty little blonde, and she looked so anxious there in the Biltmore lobby. So I stepped up. “Are you looking for some one in particular, or will anyone do?” “I was looking for a gentleman, but you'll do,” she said, leading the way toward the dining-room. Then we went up to some smoke roof garden, “What are you doing in New York?” I asked. “I go to Miss Prim’s school,” she replied. “Fine!” I shouted, taking out my flask of straight gin and filling her empty water-glass, at the same time tossing across my cigarettes. We got along fine until we took a taxi going home. “Stop!” she said. “Stop, or I'l get out and walk. You're too rough!” “But I thought you said you came from Miss Prim’s?” I stuttered, dazed. “TI know I’ve not played fair,” she confessed. “I’ve deceived you. I don’t go to Miss Prim’s or Vassar or Smith or any girls’ school. I’m just a poor chorus girl trying to be wild; but I’m outclassed.”"—Yale Record. A TIGHT SHOW? Stude—What show did you see last night? Stewed—Ashbeshtosh. “No, there’s no show by that name in town.” “Yash, there is. I copied the name off the curtain.”—Chicago Phoenix.