Judge — March 18, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ng va iti ica Hi ath ect lo Ire Min ne id's rit- We ose the igo ell ess eld yer for the Age old his ter his tc the With the Irrepressible, King Richard, absent-minded ass, Forgot to fill his car with gas. He therefore shouted, until hoarse, “A horse, my kingdom for a horse!” —lIllinois Siren. CAUSE AND EFFECT A RED nose now Is quite a shock, For people vow You've got a stock. They label you A heartless pup Because you do Not loosen up. —Denison Flamingo. A TIMELY TENDER Office Boy—Mr. Smith, I heard Mr. Louder say that he was going to give you a box of cigars for your birthday. Mr. Smith—Well? “Here’s a box of matches.”—Penn State Froth. A Hot Dog. —Brown Bull. Joyous, PRIDE First Frosh—See that man over there? That’s the captain of the team. Second—Yeh? “See the pipe in his mouth?” “Uh, huh.” “See the smoke coming out? It’s lit.” “Sure.” “Well, he did that with my match.” —Brown Jug. COMFORTING “Don’t you wish sometimes that God had made you a woman?” “Well, I—" “Never mind. Maybe he has and you haven’t found her yet.”—Hamilton Royal Gaboon. WHY, THE EYE-IDEA! Nipp—The oculist says my eyes are strained and I'll have to give ‘em a rest. Tuck—'S trouble—long studying? “Nope, short skirts.""— Minnesota Ski-u-mah. WAR WILL FOLLOW Microbe—Who are the new bugs that just came into our milk can? Bacterium—Probably some more strained relations.—Stanford Chapar- ral. THE IMITATOR Professor—What do you mean by such insolence? Are you in charge of this class or am I? Stude (humbly)—I know I’m not in charge, sir. “Very well, if you’re not in charge, then, don’t try to act like a conceited ass.”—Williams Purple Cow. MISINTERPRETED “Why so happy this morning?” “The dean says I won’t have to write home for money any more.”—Wiscon- sin Octopus. AN UNHAPPY PHRASE Soph—Lend me five, old man, and I'll be everlastingly indebted to you. Frosh—Yes; that’s what I am afraid of.—Washington Ghost. 21 College Irresponsible Wits THE MODERN WAY “Will you love’n honor?” “Uh-huh.” “Lady, are you all set?” “Uh-huh.” "S'nuff! He's your’n. Ten bucks. If you need my services again, I make a special discount to old customers.— Carnegie Puppet. SOME PEOPLE'S IDEA OF A HOUSE PARTY “Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.” —Williams Purple Cow. comicbooks.com