Judge — March 11, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UHH HEIR “You have been a long time!” “Yes. room tickets were.” “And where were they?” It took Paul a quarter of an hour to remember where the cloak “In my handbag!"——Meggendorfer Blaetter (Munich). A school boy was very quick at You can’t always trust the dic- mental arithmetic, but on one occasion tionary. In the dictionary, romance he failed to volunteer an answer to follows matrimony. — Birmingham what the schoolmistress thought was News. a very simple problem. “Come,” she said. “Two and a half per cent. on $200 for six months. How much is that? Can’t you work out that little sum?” “T could, miss,” said the boy, “but 21% per cent. don't interest me.”—Tit- Bits (London). “TI dined at my fiancée’s home yester- day.” “I suppose they regard you as one of the family by now, don’t they?” “Not exactly. They haven't reached the point where they bawl me out if I make a spot on the tablecloth.”— Boston Transcript. “Guess we struck the wrong place,” said the eloping swain, pulling his horse up in front of the parsonage. “Why?” asked the lady. “Don’t you see that sign on the tree, ‘No hitching here’?”—Chicago Herald and Examiner. “TI hear tell that a passel of fellers out hunting over tuther side of Mount Pizgy seed a wild boy and took a shot at him yiste’d’y,” related a neighbor. “They say he didn’t have any clothes on and ran like a deer.” “That so?” returned Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “Aw, well, he hain’t none of my children as fur as I know. Tennyrate, wife has been mak- ing so much pester for the last three, four months, about the kids not having anything to wear, that tuther day when I sold a hoss I bought a whole bolt of cloth, and I reckon likely by this time she’s made 'em all the britches and one thing and another they need. If they’re running around naked it’s their own fault."—Kansas City Star. A man, in love with a dimple, often makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. A slip of a girl can make the steadiest man fall. Don't forget that the pensive sweet- heart may make an expensive wife. To be faithful, one must be dread- fully in love or dreadfully ugly —Lon- don Opinion. “I have a cold,” said the girl. “Yes?” “How much is this cold cure?” “One dollar.” “Will it help me?” “You never can tell what will help a cold.” “That is true. So I guess I'll have a box of candy instead.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. A vicar of a scattered rural parish had a remarkable knowledge of fungi. So keen was he on his hobby, that he sometimes neglected his pastoral work to search for specimens. One day he stopped to see a bedridden old lady, who immediately reminded him how long it was since he had ‘made his last call. “If I had been a toadstool,” she declared, “you'd have been to see me long ago!"—London Post. Onlooker—Good Lord! Motorist—I don't know. (London). 22 What on earth has happened? Factis, I'm afraid to look!—Passing Show