Judge — February 18, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Scrambled eggs,” ordered a cus- tomer in a city market restaurant. “Milk toast,” murmured his compan- ion, who was not feeling well “Scramble two and a grave stew,” sang out the waitress the Titian hair. “Here,” corrected the “T want milk toast.” “You'll get it, Buddy,” replied the girl. “That's what they call milk toast down in Pittsburgh where I worked.” The two customers held a confer- ence and decided to “put one over” on the “fresh young thing” from Pitts- burgh. The first one wanted a glass of milk and the second a cup of black coffee. When the girl appeared to put a set up” of the restaurant artillery in front of the men the second man gave the following order: “A bottle of lacteal fluid for my friend and a scuttle of Java with no sea foam for me.” “Chalk one an’ a dipper of ink,” shouted the girl. She didn’t even grin. —The Arklight yard with second man. “Well, that’s settled!” sighed a north side man to his wife the other evening, after he, apparently, had been ruminat- ing over the holiday nightmare. “Now let's go to a mov “What's settled?” she asked “Oh, I was just figuring out what I would do with $100,000 if some one should give it to me,” he replied. “Well, what would you do?” “I'd give it right back to the fellow that gave it to me and save the trouble of paying it out in small amounts. Come on."—Indianapolis News. Angelina—I'm afraid I'm not a very good co but I'll try ever so hard after we're married Edwin—Better try now, before we're married. Try it on your folks and let me know how it comes out. —Detroit News ! A pee Pen Visitor (teasingly)—Will you let me have your doll’s house, Doris? Doris—No, hut I'll let you one of the top rooms for fourpence a week!"—Passing Show (London). “Dear, do you not find difficulty in hearing?” “That may be! But the scenery is marvelous.”—Le Rire (Paris). “What's wrong?” asked Parker. “You look worried.” “Iam,” replied his friend. “I wrote two notes—one to my broker, asking him if he took me for a fool, and the other to Miss Golding, asking her if she would marry me. While I was out somebody telephoned ‘Yes,’ and I don't know which of them it was!"—Pitts- burgh Chronicle-Telegraph. “My brother,” said the solemn-look- ing person who needed a haircut and a shave, “do you realize that the world is out of joint?” “It may be,” replied Mr. Grumpson, “but I don't believe anybody who'd rather make speeches about the situa- tion than devote himself to some use- ful employment is going to do much to restore what is known in political circles as normalcy.” — Birming- ham Age-Herald. P=) Congresswoman Robertson, of Ok- lahoma, was talking about woman in politics. “Woman lacks political training as yet,” she said, “but there is no reason why, in time, she shouldn't do as well in politics as man does “Certainly in replying to hecklers she will do well. I remember stopping one chill October evening to listen to a woman preaching some new creed to others from a soapbox. “Say! a rough shouted at her. “Say, you look cold, baby! Why don't you turn your collar up, like me?’ “"Well, you see,’ ‘baby’ answered sweetly from her soapbox—‘well, you see, I've got a clean neck.’ "—Detroit Free Press. Orville Stover is building a new house. A little over a year ago Or- ville came up here to attend singing school, and while here he fell heels over head in love with a pretty girl and told her the old story, and got the girl and forty acres of land, a horse and a Holstein cow, and the best Po- land-China sow in the town. That's what I call a stroke of luck, as the fellow said when the lightning missed his wife and hit his mother-in-law. —Conway (Ga.) Unit. “You keep a great stock of blank applications for marriage licenses, I see. More than you can use in ten years.” “They tear up a great many in their nervousness. A paternal government allows for that.”"—Detroit Free Press. comicbooks.com