Judge — February 11, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE USUAL WAY For an Emancipation Day cele- bration in Louisiana, the committee had secured an aeroplane, and flights were offered for five dollars the trip. The colored people gazed at the plane with open mouths, but none of them ventured a ride. As the day waned, the committee saw them- selves stuck for the large contract price unless someone broke the ice. One trip safely made, the rest would be easy. They decided to “try it on the dog,” so “Cat,” the local colored Simple Simon, was induced to make the first flight. The plane’s rise was followed by the awed “Ahs!” and “Ohs!” of the gaping crowd. The aviator, at- tempting a tail spin, lost control, and the plane crashed to earth, burying its nose in soft plowed ground. Willing hands pulled the aviator from his seat, while “Cat” nonchalantly crawled from beneath the smoking wreckage, and stood looking on, scratching his head. “Jest look at ‘Cat’!” shrilled a hys- terical female voice, “standin’ dere jest like he ain’t no ways skeered! ‘Cat,’ ain’t you skeered?” “Cat” turned, looked at the admiring crowd surrounding him and said: “Shucks! ‘Couse I ain’t skeered! Dat’s de way dey allus lands!” we WSS S S CSS SSeS “I played for the first time yesterday, and did an 85, but—” “Eighty-five! Why, that’s wonderful!” “As I was saying, I chalked up an 85, but I did much better on the second hole.” SACRELIGIOUS Sam Watkins, colored, was seeking a permit from a prohibition agent to buy wine. “What do you want it for?” asked the agent. “Fur sacreligious purposes, suh.” “For sacreligious purposes? You mean sacramental purposes.” “Dat’s it, suh. An’ the committee has done appointed me tuh get it.” “What kind of wine does your com- mittee want?” “Well, suh, we talked it all over, and finally decided on gin.” WHY HE WAS LATE The old darky who tends the fur- nace happened to live in a section that was quarantined by the police for smallpox, so he was late in the morning to fix the fire. “William, you are very late this morning. What was the trouble?” “Well, dey foun’ a man wif small- pox, an’ we all was guaranteed fo’ we could leave.” “Guaranteed?” “Yes'’m, de doctor he has to guar- antee dat you won't carry any small- pox aroun’.” THE SURGEON’S PRECAU- TION It was a few hours after his operation for appendicitis in the Naval Hospital at Charleston, S.C. The nurse was sitting by his bed and the doctor had come by to see how he was getting along. Some of the yard force were burning trash in the yard just beyond his window, and the fire was very bright. He showed no signs of waking up. The doctor said to the nurse: “Miss Mary will you please lower the shade? The patient is waking.” “But, doctor,” said the nurse, “the sunshine will do him good.” “I know that, but if he wakes up and sees that fire out there he will think the operation was not success- full” JIM BARNES’ LIST OF TEN COMMON FAULTS OF GOLFERS apid back swing that destroys all steadi- ness and rhythm.