Judge — February 4, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The professor was trying to demon- strate a simple experiment in the generation of steam. “What have I in my asked. “A tin can,” came the answer, “Very true. Is the can an animate or an inanimate object?” “Inanimate.” “Exactly. Now, can any little boy or girl tell me how, with this tin can, it is possible to generate a surprising amount of speed and power almost beyond control? One little boy raised his right hand. “You may answer, Carter.” “Tie it to a dog's tail!"—Washing- ton Star. hand?” he “Your daughter seems to be a strictly modern miss.” “She makes some concessions to old- fashioned ideas,” said Mr. Dubwaite “How is that?” “She occasionally permits me to meet some of the young men she runs around with."—Birmingham Age-Her- ald. “What do you regard as the most satisfactory form of taxation?” “The kitty in a poker game,” replied Senator Sorghum. “It's liberal and perfectly reliable, and at the same time everybody is too much engaged in try- ing to do business to notice the ex- pense.”"— Washington Star. Mistress—James, take Fido into the kitchen and amuse him. Butler—Er—please, know how. “Stupid, it’s quite simple. Roll on the floor and make a noise like a ball of wool."—Pearson’s Weekly. mum, I don't By special request, our own, we re- count the rather familiar incident at the Women's Suffrage club's business meeting. The president, completing readings of minutes: “The chair is now prepared to hear questions.” Excited Member—How do you get that smooth effect over the hips?— Chicago Tribune. “My cousin, Hank Buckley, paid $3 for a dog a couple of weeks ago,” re- lated Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., “and directly gave the dog and four bits to boot for a fiddle. Pretty soon he swapped the fiddle and six bits for a shotgun. He hadn't much more than got settled with the gun than he figgered he druther have a dog than a shotgun, and swapped the gun for the varmint, and the feller made him give $1 to boot. After a spell he got to studying and decided that he wanted a fiddle worse than he did a dog. So he swapped with the fiddle man and gave him $1 to boot. Well, he kept this up, sorter like the ragged rascal in the old Third Reader, re- volved round and round the rugged rock, swapping fiddle or dog or gun, whichever it happened to be, for one of the tuther things, and giving $1, or such a matter, to boot every time, till he was out $19.25 and had the dog. When I seed him last he told me it was a dreadful thing not to be able to make up his mind and keep it made up."—Kansas City Star. Cheer up! When all the neighbors buy autos you can get a seat in c street car.—St, Paul News. “Freddy's social career is ruined. “How's that?” “The moths got into his evening clothes."—Detroit Free Press. Angler—It was such a big one that it pulled me into the river! Friend—Got a good drenching, I suppose? Angler—Not a bit of it—luckily I fell on the fish!—Passing Show (London). F<)