Judge — January 28, 1922 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Now, honestly, in the third decade of the 20th century, what are you go- ing to do with a writer who commits nine puns in three sentences—and such puns! No such record has been made since Brougham’s production of “Poca- hontas” in 1848. It almost makes us suspect that some malign enemy has been poisoning our Wells. Ballade of Old Jests By Baron Ireland OM Homer down, no troubadour But hasn't mourned The Days Gone By; They've made the theme an awful bore, And if they've done it, why not I? It’s not the thought that youth must fly That makes my middle age unsunny, But that I shudder now to spy The things I used to think were funny. Jokes about (1) the janitor, (2) the young bride's first apple pie, (3) husbands who (a) loudly snore (b) struggle with a full dress tie. I used to laugh until I nigh | Bust at al] jokes on matrimony, And now they only make me cry— The things I used to think were funny. How did I love, who now abhor, | The (ugh!) Misspelling School! | And why Did I or anybody roar | To hear an actor mention rye? Lurlesque on Burns I thought high, And anything the least bit punny Would make me squeal with joy. Oh, ace my! The things I used to think were | funny! | L'Envoi Sull, Prince, I'd like, before I die To see again the late John Bunny The rest of them don’t qualify— The things I used to think were funny, In the Discard By Wm. S. Adkins ARIE, she had a little pup, Its wool was white as snow. And every time she wound it up The pup was sure to go At least it was for seven days: That ended Marie's joy. She with the pup no longer plays— It was a Christmas toy ANYBODY KNOW? “The movies are getting pretty bad.” “Oh, I don't know. Has anybody dramatized Lady Godiva?” BOOK ON DOG DISEASES And How to Feed Mailed free te any address by; the Author pe H. CLAY GLOVER CO., Inc., Dog Medicines] 118 West 31st Street, New York, You will want 3 cans of 1 for your home, 1 for the garage, 1 in your car NOWHITE HANDWASH) is just what its Nowater name implies—a white soapy cream that cleanses thoroughly with or without water. Nothing to iteli, nothing to harm the daintiest skin, After you've changed a tire. or worked on the engine, or are covered with dust from touring you'll find Nowater fine to have. Just rub it on thoroughly and then wipe off with cotton waste, cloth, paper, or even just clean grass. And for cleaning glass or white woodwork, or the delicate painted furniture which is so fashionable there 25 good. Once you have learned the fine qu ties of Nowater you will simply refuse t without it. Your Dealer will get it for vou, postage additional 35¢ west of Miss is nothing so if you ask him, or write to the makers, MAGNESIUM PRODUCTS COMPANY 27 THAMES STREET, NEW YORK CITY —————————— | “Your husband states that you refuse to live with him?” “Yes, Judge! When he moved from the cheese factory to the cider mill, I balked.” 2