Judge — January 28, 1922 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cars Are Now at Their Lowest Prices The last two months have brought decided revisions in the prices of automobiles. Many which had not previously been reduced dropped from fifteen to twenty-five per cent. Nor since the war have prices been so low. Ir is useless to anticipate further declines in automobile prices; in fact. costs may be increased. Now is the time to buy. There are many excellent values available to the man with $500 of $5000 to invest in an automobile. But the best car made for some conditions may not prove — satisfactory under others. The Motor De- partment of Lesuie’s Week iy will furnish readers with un- biased. expert advice free of charge. Use the coupon below, filing our all of the blanks in order that we may advise you thoroughly COUPON Lestie-Jupce Co. 627 West 43d St. New York Cit 1 am considering the purchase fa car to cost about $ and am especially interested in one of the (make) (t ¢ of body nand cared | for by \ Kind of roads over which car vould be used The cened other cars of the following makes following cars of approxi- y the type in which I an interested are handled by dealers Im my territory Please advise me as to the car best suited to my requirements. Name Address Primordial Comparisons By Berton Braley AN Ichthyosaurus, a Brontosaur and a Diplodocus met (I don’t think any of them would do for a maiden lady's pet For each was a hundred feet in length, and each in sober fact Resembled the things men used to see before the Volstead Act). The Ichthyosaurus up and spoke with a sort of a scowling sneer, Or a sneering scowl as he warped his jowl in a way that was strangely queer And he muttered and growled or whooped or howled or grunted or gave a shriek —Whatever it was such animals did when they had some words to speak— Well, this is the gist of what he hissed or mumbled or screeched or roared, While the Diplodocus chewed his cud and the Brontosaur looked bored. Said the Ichthyosaurus, “My, oh, my, but you are an ugly pair! | You are huge and fat and your heads are flat and your eyes have a stupid stare. So now that I've looked you over close and seen what frights you be I wonder that ever I let such bums go trailing around with me!” The Brontosaur listened and grinned a grin that was six and a half feet wide; “It's true that I never have seen my- self,” he answered, “nor ever tried. But on my word if I look a third as ugly as you yourself, I'd dive down deep where the sea- worms creep and hide on a slimy shelf. For you and the Diplodocus there are the awfullest sights on earth, And if I had oniy learned to laugh I'd burst into raucous mirth!” The Ichthyosaurus hung his head and the Diplodocus, too, And into the Mesozoic fog they clum- sily withdrew. And each to himself was saying, “Gosh, if I look like that duo do, I must be truly a Fearful Mess, a ter- tible sight to view!" And all three saurians sadly sighed and brooded about their looks And thought of themselves as they'd appear in the natural history books. They shuddered and sighed and pres- ently died in the Mesozoic slime, Which is why these creatures remain extinct right up to the present time! GOOD PLAN “Nobody seems interested in our Answers to Correspondence column.” “Yet I've hired a good man to write the answers.” “Better hire another to write the questions.” AT THE DANCE Algy—Rawther a daring dress that, Jawge. Jawge—Er, rawther! You mean the one back of the necklace, old top, or the one you cawn’t see for the bally chrysanthemum? Crremnes ECONOMY “Fadder, dese shoes hurts me every step I take!” “Then take longer steps and dere won't be so many hurts.”