Judge — January 28, 1922 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

McIntosh—Aye, 1 would that! Passing Show (London). “A careful doctor. He told me to bring the prescription around and let him see if the druggist had filled it properly.” “And the prescription was for?” “One pint.” — Louisville Courier- Journal. “Several men are ahead of me, but I'm very anxious to see Mr. Grabcoin and I can’t wait.” “Well?” “What had I better do?” “He's a golf fan. You might yell “Fore'!"—Birmingham Age-Herald. “Arthur,” said a young artist to a friend, “do you see that lady and gentleman who are looking at my pic- ture, and talking in such low, earnest tones?” “Yes.” replied the friend “IT wish you would saunter by care lessly and find out what they are say- ing. It looks like business.” “She is calling him down for stay- ing out late last night,” said the friend, returning. — Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. A certain professor reproving his girl students for their tardiness in arriving, said sarcastically: “This is a class in English composition, not an afternoon tea.” At the next meeting one girl was twenty minutes late. The professor waited until she had taken her seat, and then remarked bitingly: “How will you have your tea, Miss Brown?” “Without the lemon, please,” was the girl's witty reply.—Boston Tran- script “Do you enjoy your automobile out- ings with Mr. Bibbles?” “No, I don't,” said Mrs. “Why not?” “Every time he sees smoke curling up from some inaccessible spot in the hills he gets out to see if it's coming from a ‘still.."— Birmingham Age- Herald. Bibbles. AHA LL Chambermaid—Would you like me to put a bottle in your bed, sir?” Johnny Walker for preference!—The “Howdy, Gap!” saluted an acquaint- ance. “I don't aim to mind nobody's business nor nuth'n’ that-a-way, but if it's a fair question, what was coming off at yore place yesterday? As I was angling along past’ I heered you yelling ‘whoa!’ sorter like you meant it,and I seed youyanking yore brother- in-law around by the nose, it ‘peared like, or the whiskers, or something, and cussing him right sharply while you done so. Recollecting that it wasn't none of my business I went on, but I'm tollable shore I observed you haul off and kick the gent a time or two.” “Aw, he'd drunk up a bottle of my horse liniment,” replied Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge. Ark., “and that was the only way to handle him.”—Kansas City Star. “I'm down and out. I think I'll drown myself.” “Don't be so rash.” “Then lend me a fiver.” “Er—perhaps you'd better carry out your original idea.”"—London Mail. “What is the name of the book you are reading, girlie?” Thirty-six Ways to Hold a Hus- band's Love.’ “One way is enough if it will work.” —Loutsville Courier-Journal. “Did you ask Lord Helpus what he thought of prohibition in America? “No, I didn’t,” said the reporter “Why not?” “I couldn't stand it. I've been in terviewing foreign visitors for two years and asking every one of them that question. If I hear another one say, ‘When does prohibition begin?’ I'll be a candidate for a padded cell.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Six-year-old Paul was misbehaving in the school ranks when his nine-year- old sister from her place in the next row happened to notice him Im mediately she walked from her place to him and administered a good shak ing and a command for him to stand still “Why did you shake him, Virginia?” her teacher asked after they were in their room. “Because if I hadn't shook him his teacher would,” she retorted. The questioning teacher smiled “But I can't see, if he had to be shaken, what difference it made whether you or the teacher did it.” “I can,” Virginia was positive. “I wanted to keep it all in the family."— Tulsa World. Rub—Sharp's baby is only eighteen months old and can talk. Dub—Well, that is to be expected The baby’s father is an insurance agent and its mother is a woman!—New York Sun. i