Judge — January 28, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“We had a cigarette hearing and a number of ladies demonstrated.” “Well?” said Congressman Flubdub “Next we take up the subject of short skirts.” “Put me on that committee."— Louisville Courier-Journal. The little boy met the expected visitor half way down the garden path. “Are you Mrs. Robinson?” he asked, anxiously. “Yes, dear,” was the reply. you glad to see me?” “Rather! Mother's sure to cut the cake now.”—London Ideas “Are Papa—Why did you permit young Gaybird to kiss you in the parlor last night? Daughter—Because I was afraid he'd catch cold in the hall—Boston Globe. Crawford —That millionaire’s di- vorce case cost him a lot of money. Crabshow—But he'll save it in the long run. He'll never again need to hire a publicity agent —Newark Sun. “You seem upset.” “Yes, my wife had a quarrel with the cook.” “Did you take sides?” “No. I need them both.”—Louis- ville Courier-Journal. Wife (showing furs, a present from husband) — Fancy such lovely furs coming from a little skunk!—Passing Show (London) “Have you any denatured hair tonic?” “No,” said the druggist, “I have not However,” he continued with a rising inflection, “I have hair tonic, and you look to me like a man of good judg- ment who can read between the lines of a label?” “T can do just that. Give me two bottles."—Birmingham Age-Herald. What's the 11752?° “Nothing out of the ordinary,” re- plied the hotel clerk, nonchalantly excitement in Room “But I heard loud outcries and groans?” “A theoretical prohibitionist is being put to bed."—Birmingham Age- Herald, “Yes,” said the old man to his visitor “I am proud of my girls and would like to see them comfortably married, and as I have made a little money they will not go penniless to their bands. “There is Mary, twenty-five year old, and a really good girl. 1 shall give her $1,000 when she marries. Then comes Bet, who won't see thirty five again. I shall give her $3,000, and the man who takes Eliza, who is forty, will have $5,000 with her The young man reflected a moment and then asked, “You haven't one about fifty, have you?"—Glasgow Herald. hus- “Would you marry a man to reform him?” “What does he do? “He drinks “Marry him, girlie, and find out where he gets it. We need him badly in our set.""—Louisville Courier Jour- nal. Wife—Now, then, off with you, you rascals, and think yourselves lucky you didn’t hit me!—Passing Show (London).