Judge — January 21, 1922 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oor It me, she you ly esk did not much care whether she ate or not.. “I'll take some of this and some of that,” she said, “and the gentleman will take the same only more of the mashed potatoes.” After a while the music started and some people came in, but we could hardly see them. We seemed to be about the only people who had a snug little corner of their own. And it was the same the next day and the day after that. As for making the acquaintance socially of anybody we might just as well have been in a row boat in the Bay of Bis- cay. “Don’t worry,” said Ma. “That pleasant lady and I are getting along just splendid. I've got her talking about her children now.” At the end of the first week the bill came in. “Ma,” I said, after I had recovered, “couldn’t you just sort of crowd her?” “Never mind. In a day or two everything will be all right—then I’m going to ask her to introduce me to her friends.” That was where things ended. I had sauntered off one day for a bag of peanuts when Ma came hurrying e 3 Mrs. Golitely—I hear that you are laying off all your pretty sten- ographers, Mr. Waddums. Mr. W.—Yes, I'm canning peaches. up. “Come,” he says, “we're going home. I wouldn't stay here another day for a million dollars.” “That’s a good deal of money,” I said. “What's the matter?” “Everything. You look up the trains and call a jitney. That woman was the floor maid that hooks up people and keeps track of them when they go out. Come on, let's get out of here. I've got half the things packed already.” MIND OVER MATTER Wife (at Palm Beach)—Isn’t the sun nice and warm here? “Yes! But every time I think of the hotel bill, cold chills run up and down my back!” Jade Reggre- In two hours we were out of town and we ain’t said Palm Beach to each other since except to sell a suit of clothes. Famous After-dinner Speeches By J. B. Sprague “Let's adjourn to the cellar.” “Now, lady, if you'll just show me where de snow shovel is—” “Confound it, why don’t you try another butcher?” “John, the maid is out, and you'll have to help with the dishes.” “Say, waiter, I asked for my check—not for last month's gro- cery bill.” “Where the dickens did I put my pepsin tablets?” “No wonder you're fat, with the amount you eat!” ‘* Please - excuse -me-kin-I-go-out - pop?” “You are certainly one swell cook, kid. Will you marry me?” “Goo-goo!” SCHOOL OF EXPERIENCE “Do you remember your class yell?” “Naw. Life has provided me with a much more emphatic one since then.” comicbooks.com