Judge — December 31, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH W Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible BUT NOW! yj’ days of old When knights were bold Great men there were, and daring; They thought far more Of deeds of war Than what the dames were wearing. But in this age It’s all the rage, For men to come a-flocking Whene’er they see A wee bare knee Without a bit of stocking. —Missouri Showme. SYMPATHY “Willie,” said his mother, “I must insist that you stop shooting craps— those poor little things have just as much right to live as you have.”— Michigan Gargoyle. WHAT'S HIS ADDRESS? Mr. King—You don't seem to worry much about your debts. Mr. Jack—No, I always borrow from a pessimist who don’t expect to get it back—Stanford Chaparral. oT “I’ve got a fellow who owns a swell car. Do you love anyone who owns a car?” “Anyone.” —Washington Sun Dodger. JUDGE’S COLLEGE WITS NUMBER ‘THE annual College Wits Num- ber of Judge has been one of the most notable issues in the magazine field. Its next appear- ance will be early in May, some- what later than formerly, in order that contributors may have a more leisurely period in which to pre- pare for it. All matter intended for it, however, must be in hand early in March. The number of College Comics has more than doubled during the past three years, admittedly through Judge's influence, and the next College Wits Number of His Honor should surpass all others in the amusing variety of its contents. All mat- ter published in this annual num- ber is original, and its text and illustrations show the happy spirit of the college boys and girls the country over as no other medium can set it forth. Three valuable silver cups are given as principal prizes, and all contributions used will be paid for at usual rates. This timely notice is given in order that intending contributors may prepare themselves for the joyous contest of wits. RESENTMENT Free Verse Writer — Oh, poets are born, not made! “See here, son! Write all that durn rot you want, but don’t you go blaming mother and me for it; we won't stand for it!"—Pitt Panther. father, NATURAL CLIMAX “Jim Bilkins is dead.” “How come?” “He stuck his head into the Red Dog saloon and hollered fire.” “Well?” “They did.”—Illinois Siren. IMPOSSIBLE “Isn’t that the story you recently sold to Art-reels?” said the motion picture director to the famous author as the vivid film drama unrolled be- fore them. “Impossible,” murmured the great man incredulously, “it’s the identicai plot.”—Columbia Jester. 21 AMERICANS A busy guy is Henry Hurls— He’s always picking up strange girls. But don’t think he’s a Sporting gink— He just works at the skating rink. —Ohio Sun Dial. TO PLEASE THE LAD Son—I see they have measles in that corner house, papa! Prof. (absently)—Yes! Yes! Shall we go in and get some?—Iowa Frivol. HOW STUPID! Daughter—How do you like my new party gown, father? Father — Why, daughter! You surely aren't going out with half of your back exposed? Daughter (looking in mirror)—Oh, father! How stupid of me. I ha this dress on backwards. — Chicago Phoenix ANTICLIMAX 1923—I was walking down the street last night and picked up a wonderful girl. 1924—-What did she do? “She just said ‘Thank you,’ walked away.”—Colgate Banter. and “Sis, haven’t you and Jim been en- gaged long enough to get married?” “Too long; he hasn’t got a cent left.” —Columbia Jester. comicbooks.com