Judge — December 17, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

rOanoewnn o WITH THE COLLEGE WIT Irrepressible, A Bum Drawing. —Washington Jefferson Wag Jag. COLLEGE As She Looks To the movie producer: The one and only Utopia. To the girl back home: A delightful place simply bubbling over with sport, adventure and romance. To the folks back home: An excel- lent opportunity for a young man to learn how to spend money. To the professor: A gift to civiliza- tion for the education of the masses and the consequent betterment of hu- manity in general. To the student: A hard place to get into, stay in, or get out of.—Pennsyl- vania Punch Bowl. TRACED “Marjie, have you been smoking?” “No, mother.” “But your breath smells of tobacco.” “Father kissed me good-bye.” “But father doesn’t smoke.” “I know it, mother, but his stenog does.”—Illinois Siren. « Feed ’Em and Weep. —Pitt Panther. Joyous, PRICELESS LOVE WHEN thy little eyes are turned ah Irresponsi Sweetly up to mine. When my boyish heart has burned Beating close to thine— When the stars that grace the sky Twinkle in thy hair— When thou giv’st a gentle sigh Whilst I breathe a prayer— When I hear thee softly say “Come and kiss me, Mike!”— Then I know I have to pay Anything you like. —Harvard Lampoon. He—Is he old? She—Is he? Why, he’s so old that he thinks Thursday’s as good a night as Wednesday!—Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. LEGITIMATE REASON “Why did he soak you?” “TI said his brother looked like a sap.” “That ain’t no reason.” “No—but they’re twin brothers.”— Washington Sun Dodger. Mother (visiting son’s room)—Son, what’s that bottle in your closet? Son—Why—er—that’s hair tonic. “That funny. Your father uses the same thing, and he’s been bald for thirty years.”—Yale Record. He—Well, I’ve passed Theoret at last. She—Honestly? “What difference does that make?”— Mass. Tech. Voo Doo First Bachelor Girl—I always look under the bed before I retire. Second Bachelor Girl—So do I, but I never have any luck.—Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. THE TROUBLES OF GENTLE JANE GENTLE JANE, in evening dress, Got caught upon a brier: She cried, “Oh, Law!” when the men all saw She wa’nt no ball of fire. “How full it is!” sighed gentle Jane, In accents of emotion, “How full it is, how very full Of water is the ocean!” A cobra chanced upon the bench By nervous, gentle Jane. She laid him out with a monkey wrench, And resumed her book again. Gentle Janey, full of ire, Spied a hairy young bamboozle; She pushed him in the kitchen fire, And chuckled in her goozle. —Harvard Lampooa. “This Guy Darwin Had a Heluva Nerve.” —Columbia Jester. comicbooks.com