Judge — December 10, 1921 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(| WITH THE CO @ a She y || Irrepressible, Joyous, The Mystic Three HERE are three words, the sweet- est words, | In all the human speech— More sweet than are all songs of birds, Or pages poets preach. This life may be a vale of tears, a A sad and dreary thing— Three words and trouble disappears And birds begin to sing. | Three words, and all the roses bloom, | } The sun begins to shine; Three words glooom | And water turn to wine. | 1 Three words will cheer the saddest will dissipate the days— “T love you!” Wrong, by heck! It is another, sweeter phrase, } “Enclosed—find—check.” —Brown Jug. } He Wanted a Pet | “My good man, you had better take ~5 1} the trolley car home.” i “Sh’ no ushe! My %Z = Uy — wife = A j I’m looking back to see if they Are looking back to see if I Am looking back to see if they Are looking back at me. —Lehigh Burr. let me—hic—keep it in th’ house.”— Colgate Banter. A History Quiz We Might Pass 1. When was the war of 1812? 2. From what province of France was Joan of Arc? 8. Who is the author of Macau- lay’s History of England? 4. What two countries were par- ticipants in the Spanish-American war? 5. In what season of the year did Washington spend his winter at Val- ley Forge? 6. Tell about the Swiss navy. —Texas Scalper. Tanked Judge—Last night you were full of liquor; where did you get it? “Show me!” said the mouse. Guilty—At the filling station, your —Missouri Showme. honor.—Missouri Showme. 22 LLE Irresponsible lh She—I like your cigarette holder. Ain’t It Awful? She was a school teacher, and he a four-button model summer student. He had just finished a graphic de- scription of how a friend of his had been struck in the eye by a golf ball, and nearly lost his sight. It was a delightful moonlight evening, and as they strolled through the campus he had grown eloquent in the details of the terrific drive, the whir of the ball through the air, and the audible crash as it struck his companion full in the face. Then he followed up with a description of the blood and pain and a couple of subsequent major operations, and paused to light a cigarette, while he let the effect sink in. They moved slowly on for a few moments, and then she suddenly looked up at him. “Gee,” she mur- mured, “I’ll bet that boy had a black eye!” The janitor found her remains in the frog pond the next morning.— Missouri Showme. He—Why, I never use one. “Don’t be so dense.”—Williams Purple Cow. =DISSANT Zs “T think I have a cold or something in my head.” “Probably a cold.”—Cornell Widow. Comicbooks.com