Judge — December 3, 1921 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee ere “You can’t go to the office in that old coat! What would your chief think?” “Oh, that’s all right—he also is married!”—Strix (Stockholm). “I never saw Jagsbys next door,” said Mr. Bibbles. “They are always wanting to borrow the equal of those something. I honestly believe we've lent them everything in the house ex- cept the piano and our twin beds.” “I’m sorry you are so wrought up,” said Mrs. Bibbles. “Mr. Jagsbys has just sent over to know if—” “Don’t say it! Don’t say it!” “If you have a few empty bottles you could spare, pint or quart size.” “Out of the way, woman! I'll take them over myself.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. FEARS THE Worst—“I understand the ladies are going to run your paper for a day.” “Yes,” said the editor of the Chig- gersville Clarion. “I’m going fishing.” “While they run the paper?” “No, for a week after they get through running it.” — Birmingham Age-Herald. UNRUFFLED—We dunno what’s in store for us in the future, but we’ve put so many troubles behind us that we ain’t afeared of h——1 or high water!— Adams (Ky.) Enterprise. Pa’s “JokE”—“Edith, your mother tells me that you serve refreshments to all the young men who call on you.” “Yes, papa.” “Well, you must think I have money to burn, feeding the flames that way.” —Boston Transcript. MEDICINE—Congress might as well allow beer as medicine. The present- day stuff tastes like it—Chicago Jour- nal of Commerce. A PropLEM—“It’s all right to say ‘say it with flowers—’ but—” “But what?” “What kind of flowers can you select to tell her that you're flat broke?” —Detroit Free Press. AN EXASPERATING TRUTH — There never was a newspaper man in the world who had the nerve to tell the truth about a home-talent show.—Lox Angeles Times. “You objected to Jack because he had to work for a living—didn’t you, mamma?” “Yes, my dear. to our class.” “Well, it’s all right now. May he call to-night?” “Has someone left him a fortune?” “No, but he’s lost his situation.” —Edinburgh Scotsman. He doesn’t belong CoRRECTION—The Holyrood Gazette is determined to get at the truth of the thing: “Last week we stated that John Russman made a business call to Lyons. It was a mistake, for he never went until Monday of this wi Then again he never went for business; he went there to see a girl friend of his, so we are informed.”—Kansas City Star. ERE—“I reckon,” said al, how mebbe barbed wire ought to be counted as one of the most useful inventions of the age. “For what reason?” “When there’s a lot of work to be done barbed wire makes it impossible for a feller to sit on the fence an’ look on.”—Chicago Herald and Examiner. s—Teacher (to class —What does sea water contain besides the sodium chloride that we have mentioned? Small Boy—Fish, sir.—Science and Invention. BETWEEN Doctors: that Lawyer Smit! to be troublesome?’ “What, is he dead?” “Worse yet, he is disputing my bill.” —Journal of the American Medical As- sociation. A MiLp ribs. “Didn’t I tell you case was going YEARN—“An_ umbrella is nid the medical student, s I wish the human anatomy yas as simple.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. “T wouldn’t trust any man as far as the end of my nose.” “That’s too far to trust any man.” “Too near, you mean!”—London Mail. 22