Judge — December 3, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i “T am afraid,” said the woman who had moved into a new flat, “that we’re going to have a cold, hard winter?” “Judging by those nature-faking signs?” sneered her husband. “No. By the expression on the jani- tor’s face.”—Washington Star. ih HER ANXIETY—Doctor—I’m afraid I will have to operate for appendicitis. Beauty—Oh, doctor, will the scar show? “Not unless you go into the films.”— London Mail. TRUTH DEFERRED—“Is it me or my money that you love?” asked the homely heiress. “Oh, let’s wait until after we are married to discuss such an unpleasant subject,” pleaded her fiancé.—Town Topics. NoT AN EXCLUSIVE PRIVILEGE—“Don’t you sometimes envy the idle rich?” “No,” said the old farmer. “I know fellers that hain’t got a dollar who can be jest as idle as anybody.”—Boston Transcript. Sue’s Not So Mucu—Little Emily— I’m so terribly jealous of the girl that Jim first loved. Her Mother—It’s an experience we’ve all had, my dear. You'll get over it the first time you meet her.—London Mail. Up—“Husband,” wife suspiciously. SHE Dipn’t KEEP said the professor’: “Yes, my dear?” “Who is this Violet Ray you are always talking about?” — Louisville Courier-Journal. Got FooLep—“Si Willow, who mar- ried the widow they said had a sweet temper and lots of money, is goin’ to sue for a divorce.” “On what grounds?” “Mistaken identity.” — New Sun. York _ “I think, Lucille, I’ll take one of the children to the park with me. Which one do you think would go best with this dress?”—London Mail. a Tramp—lIf yer please, ma’m, would yer kindly give me a drink o’ water? I'm so ‘ungry I don’t know where to stay the night.—London Weekly Telegraph. Ou, HeAvENS, No!—She had ac- cepted his embraces without reserve, but every time she seemed to be on the verge of going to sleep. It was most exasperating. Finally he remonstrated. “See here,” he demanded peevishly. “Why do you always appear asleep when I kiss you?” “Why, Harry,” she retorted indig- nantly. “You don’t for a minute think I’m the sort of girl who would do such things with my eyes open!”—Ameri- can Legion Weekly. THE Doc WatcH— Well Fixed — Ferdy seems to be making better progress with the girl he is courting. Now has the field to himself. “Yes, he gave her a dog that will bite anybody he doesn’t know. And the dog doesn’t know anybody in this town but Ferdy.”—Louisville Courier- . Journal. Wuat INpEED!—But what will news- papers publish during the millennium? —Louisville Evening Post. 21 THE Epitor’s FLivveR — Charlie Mays, the fighting editor of the Edger- ton Journal, has a Ford. When a country editor can afford a car, who will dare to say the age of miracles is past? Of course, a Ford will do many things, and Mr. Mays probably will use it as a printing press in case of emergency. And it will come in handy when he takes his shotgun and goes out to round up delinquent subscribers. —Gardner Gazette. “T dare you to come back!” bawled the wrathy pedestrian. “Can’t do it now,” said the motorist. “Got an important engagement to keep. But be around here this time to-mor- row and I’ll take another chance at you, just to show you I’m a good sport. So long!”—Birmingham Age-Herald.