Judge — December 3, 1921 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Incompatibility By Watt Mason HE law courts go their dismal [costes and turn out bushels of divorces, and people say it’s simply fearful, and divers moralists are tearful. But when I gaze on married crit‘ers, and see them daily take their bitters, I wonder that so few are trying to have their wedding vows sent flying. The country’s full of married ladies who think the wedding state is hades; and it is full of husbands weary who think that death would be less dreary; but being dead game sports they suffer with cheerful frents, while life grows tougher. There's Jasper Jinx, my next door neighbor; he spends his days in useful labor; and then at night he finds his pleasure in reading some old musty treasure; some ancient book that monks have printed, by endless toil, in pigments tinted. He'd rather read its musty pages, or talk of dead and dusty ages than ride in someone's choo-choo surrey, and hit the highway in a hurry. But Mrs. Jinx is fond of going to where the latest films cre showing. She doesn’t like to sit supinely; she likes to doll herself divinely, and train with people gay and gaudy, and maybe have a kickless toddy. “Oh, Jasp,” she says, “your life’s too groovey; to-night there is a dandy movie, a comedy that’s bright and cheery; so won't you take me to it, dearie?” And Jasper sighs and says, “Mirandy, I have a book that’s fine and dandy; ‘twas printed in the dawn of learning, when great men at the stake were burning for striving to uplift the rabble, 7, } \ Illustration by RatpH BaRTON whose hearts were set on bunk and gabble. How can I leave this work uplifting, and to a movie scream go drifting, to see some funsmiths, woozy wobblers, a-throwing pies and apple cobblers?” Now, here’s a chance for great dis- sension, for griefs too numerous to mention. Yet Jasp’s so proud of his good woman he rather thinks her superhuman. He’s willing to admit that others have first rate wives and aunts and mothers, but all of them are pale and sandy compared with his divine Mirandy. You'd think that Mrs. Jinx, dis- gusted with Jasper’s habits, stale and crusted, would sometimes speak her mind and flay him, and in a verbal mortar bray him. But—wonderful and most surpris- ing!—his worth she’s always adver- tising. She quotes him at the teas and parties, and bores the younger female smarties, who think their men are rather clever—but who line up with Jasper, never! In wedded life such trouble rises; wife likes what hubby most despises; and what the husband thinks is splen- did, the wife believes can’t be de- fended. And if they’re nuts, or tinhorn people, the vows they made beneath the steeple are in the law courts torn asunder, and marriage is declared a blunder. But wiser couples keep on living, forgetting trifles and forgiving; the wife’s love pledge is not forsaken because her husband shies at bacon; and hubby doesn’t cut up meaner be- cause his wife likes kraut and wiener. “The vows they made beneath the steepie are in the law courts torn asunder.” 9 comicbooks.com