Judge — November 26, 1921 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ia Distinguished Actor—Then, I take it you are acquainted with Shakespeare? The Stage Aspirant—Don't you try to pull my leg, you silly old thing! Excuse—“I've just heard interestedly said an ac “Why do you suppose killed his hired man?” “D’know,” replied the gaunt Mis- sourian, “unless it was b’cuz he acted like a hired man.”—Aunsas City Stay SUFFICIEN the news quaintance. John Scho: A Fort Scott man with a cavity in the front line of offense in his mouth, filled it with a wooden tooth which he ingeniously carved and ingeniously installed. He used pine. It swole on him. Then he duplicated it out of walnut. It didn’t last. He triplicated it from a Marmaton River mussel shell, and its perfect utility is past the experimental stage. But it won't eat oysters. Tribune. Fort Scott know what AGAIN—“Do you 1 asked y this is, John, r?” she tly at the break table. Unpleasant recollections of previous memory lapses flashed through John’s mind. He would not be caught this time. “Why, of course, my lov How could I possibly forget that this is our wedding anniversary?” he said, with gentle reproof. “No, it isn That is three months ahead,” she responded coldly. | “This is the day on which you promised to take the afternoon off from the office and beat the rugs.”—Vaneouver Prov- ince. ' in the paper that Dr. gist. What does that mean, dad?” “A pathologist, my boy, is a doctor who invents diseases for other doctors to cure.”"—New York Sun. AN ApuseD Boy—Mother—Now, re- member, Johnny, there’s a ghost in that dark closet where I keep the cake. Johuny—Funny you never blame the sake missi ranseript, Newpoor—Now, don’t stand You've got Mrs. tempting yourself, Claude. two ties already! —Passing Show (London). Shakespeare's dead! —London Mail. A WELL. s—A man who wanted a horse for general use ex- plained to a dealer that he wished to buy a nice, quiet, good-looking animal that could be driven by his wife and that would not ob, to being hitched up to a lawn mower. After listening attentively for some moments, the dealer, with the utmost gravity, finally inquired: “And would you like him to wait at the table, sir?”—-Harper’s Magazine, In THE BILLVILLE SectIonN—*What's the outlook for a newspaper in this town?” “First-class. railroad, six candidates fc an’ it ain't ten miles to wh shows!"”—Louisville Couric We've got a map of a postmaster, » the cireus Journal. a, wWhat’s an actor? ! ctor, my boy, is a person who can walk to the side of a stage, peer into the wings at a group of other actors waiting for their cues, a number of bored stage hands and a lot of theatrical odds and ends and _ exclaim, ‘What a lovely view there is from this window!’ "—Birmingham Age-Herald. “Have you any com- 2” asked the prison INcon T- plaint to ma visitor. . “Yes, I have,” replied the life co vict. “There ain’t ni enough exi from this place.”—New York Sun. comicbooks.com