Judge — November 26, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE THREAT INDIRECT—“Aw,” said Willie, “you’re afraid to fight; that’s all it is.” “No, I’m not,” protested Jack, “but if T fight my ma’ll find it out and lick me. “How’ll she find it out?” “She'll see the doctor goin’ to your house.”—O. E. R. Bulletin. PROFESSIONAL =TEMPTATION—Patient —Great Scott, doctor! That’s an awful bill for one week’s treatment. Doctor—My dear fellow, if you knew what an interesting case yours was and how strongly I-was tempted to let it go to a post-mortem, you wouldn’t ay - = grumble at a bill three times as big St = as this——Boston Transcript. Mr. Bradbury-Fisher—I’m goin’ to buy the most expensive car that’s made, Maria. . A Stupy in REposE—There were two Mrs Bradbury-Fisher—Cars are getting so common; why not buy figures in the wheat field. One stood some carriage horses? Real good ones, the kind that foam at the mouth! stolidly, motionless. The other moved —London Mail. here and there. One was the hired man; the other was a scarecrow. The TEACHER Gave It Up—Teacher—If scription. At least that is the tale reason the scarecrow moved so much your mother had twenty-five yards of Editor Allen, of The Observer, is telling, was that he couldn’t stand still in the stuff, and made a dress containing and Allen is usually truthful, even when wind like the hired man!—New Rochelle eighteen yards, how much would she jealous—Tipton Gazette. Standard. have left? Little Girl—Mamma can’t make her own dresse: She has tried often, and they are always either too— Teacher—Suppose she sent it to a dressmaker, how much would the dress- maker send back? Little Girl—Depends on which dress- maker she sent it to. Some wouldn’t send back any. ‘'eacher (impatiently)—Suppose she sent it to an honest one? Little Girl—Some of the honestest ones cut things to waste, so that there is never anything left, no matter how much you send ’em.—Chicago Herald. Wry THEY WeNnT—As the Sunday School teacher entered she saw leaving in great haste a little girl and her smaller brother. “Why, Mary, you aren’t going away?” she exclaimed in surprise. “Pleathe, Miss Anne, we’ve got to go,” was the distressed reply. “Jimmy thawallowed hith collection.”—Boston Transcript. PROFITABLE Lirts—“I notice you fre- quently pick up people and take them to town in your car.” “Yes,” said the enterprising citizen. “T’ve sold quite a number of life in- surance policies in that way. A man can’t very well refuse to hear what you have to say when he’s getting a free ride."—Birmingham Age-Herald. EDITORIAL PLEASANTRIES—A great many newspaper men eke out an ex- istence by a close shave, but not many of them have as many close shaves as the editor of The Doerun Courter: Besides Sedbs : ere = running a newspaper, this versatile gentleman also operates a barber shop, THE PACER and during the dull season he is offering “Say, boy, which is the way to the railway station?” a free shave with every paid-up sub- “Follow me—I’ll show you!”—Lustige Blaetter (Berlin).