Judge — November 19, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

micle, e you > club “My work, ways nkled pud- “y kind s. "the eball tees an’s k in ring fter his > on Van and “Whom does the baby resemble?” “Well, he has my wife’s eyes and my nose, but I can’t,imagine where he Man AND Motor—“They say. the driver of a car comes to have a sort:of sympathetic understanding with the machine.” “There is a’mysterious relationship betweerra man and his car, that’s a fact. For instance, whenever my car is broke I know that.I_am going to be.”—Boston Transcript. TR) 1 eI A A II Xt EXACTING COMPENSATION—‘Why do you occupy two seats?” asked the strap- hanger. “To even things up,” answered the grumpy man. “Half the time I don’t get any seat at all.”—Detroit News. Just as WELL—Mrs. Brown was get- ting thoroughly tired of the continual borrowing of her neighbor, Mrs. Smith. First it was some household utensil, then little articles of groceries and so forth. One morning Mrs. Smith’s little girl came to the door. “Please, Mrs. Brown,’ she said, “mother says would you lend her a little bit of blacklead and some margarine?” Mrs. Brown was annoyed and deter- mined to stop the borrowing. “Tell your mother I’ve got other fish to fry,” she snapped. The little girl went, but was back again in two minutes with a dish and another request. “Piease, mother says could you lend her some of the fried fish?”—Royal Magazine. THE ImiratoR—The Boss—What do you mean by such language? Are you the manager here or am I? Jones—I know I’m not the manager. The Boss—Very well, then, if you’re not the manager, why do you talk like a blamed idiot?—The Stenographer. ON tHE RuN—Wifie—Why did he speak of the ship as carrying a bone in ler teeth? Hubby—Well, she’s an ocean grey- hound, you see—Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. got his voice, unless it was from my motor siren.”—Londo Opinion. EvEN More THRILLING—“Yes, I was on the battleship when she cleared for action and I-assure you it is the most thrilling and impressive moment you can_conceive.” “Huh! -I guess you never stood by when a golf ‘club; champion was getting ready to drive.”—Boston Transcript. 23 THE CooKING ScHooL DipLoma—“I have just received a diploma from the cooking school!” announced the young wife to her husband one evening as they sat down to supper. “Have you?” he replied without much show of interest. “Well, aren’t you glad I have been enrolled as a competent cook?” asked the disappointed wife. “Just see, I have prepared this whole dinner! I gave especial attention to that dish there. Guess what it is.” . The husband was at the moment try- sing to chew a particularly tough piece of the contents of the dish. Observing his -puzzled look, the wife repeated “Guess what it is.” “I don’t know,” replied the husband uncertainly. “Is it the diploma?” —Youth’s Companion. A Borrowep ONE—“That looks like my umbrella.” “Are you sure?” “I’m not quite positive about it.” “My dear sir, in a case like this one should be absolutely sure. I refuse to give up this umbrella to anybody but its owner.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. OUT OF PLACE “You always nag me in the street! What do we have a home for?” —Simplicissimus (Munich), comichooks.cqyy)