Judge — November 19, 1921 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wife—Darling! Darling! Husband—Yes, my dear? Wife—Don’t be silly, Charles, I was calling Toodles!—(London Mail). STICKLER FOR ETIQUETTE—He was the most down-and-out looking specimen who had applied at the back door of this particular farmhouse for many a year. The housewife viewed him with disgust. “My goodness!” she exclaimed. “I don’t believe you’ve washed for a year.” “Just about that,” agreed the hobo. “You see, I only washes before I eats.” —Philadelphia Public Ledger. rs) BHA MT Some of these home brewers are so inordinately proud of their concoctions that when they give a fellow a taste he has to act spiflicated or they are in- sulted.—Baltimore Evening Sun. Maxine A Hit WitH CustoMERS— After a spectacular chase which lasted several minutes, the proprietor of the Palace Café, “tables for ladies,” over- took a fly and dealt it a lethal blow with a swatter. “Good work!” exclaimed a patron. “Anybody seeing you do that would say that you run a sanitary place.” “Just confidentially,” replied the pro- prietor, ‘that’s why I did it. I let that fly in on purpose.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. OBsERVING—Little Jack Jett, of Terre Haute, was going away on a few days’ vacation when he came to kiss his mother good-by. She kissed him rather hurriedly for there were still some of his things to get ready, but he caught her hand and said: “Mother, I didn’t like that kiss. I want a movie kind.” “A movie kind?” his mother ques- tioned. “Yes,” he insisted, “one like the movie people always give—a hang-on one for a long time.”—ZJndianapolis News. Decipe Now—“Ethel,” he whispered, “will you marry me?” “I don’t know, Charlie,” she replied coyly. “Well, when you -find out,” he said, rising, “send me word, will you? shall be at Mabel Hicks’s until ten e’clock. If I don’t hear from you by then I am going to ask her.” She hurried up.—Houston Post. Wise HaroLtp—The pretty girl had just bestowed a hearty kiss upon little Harold, the family pet. Instantly Harold rubbed his coat sleeve across his lips vigorously. “What!” exclaimed the fair visitor, “Are you rubbing it off?” “Nope,” replied Harold. ‘“Rubbin’ it in.”—San Francisco Chronicle. Business Diplomacy — “Josh eats with his knife an’ drinks his coffee out of the saucer,” said Mrs. Corntassel, “I told him to,” replied her husband, “Summer boarders are complainin’ about the prices we charge. The family has got to do something to keep up the impression that we’re simple, unsgo- phisticated country folks.”—Washing. ton Star. Two or A KinD—“Why don’t you get rid of that mule?” asked one Virginia darky of another. “Well, yo’ see, Jim,” replied the other, “I hates to give in. Ef I was to trade dat mule off he’d regyard it as a pussunal victory. He’s been tryin’ fo’ de last six weeks to get rid of me.”—Harper’s Magazine. A Cynic’s Retort—“A diamond,” ex- pounded the professor, “is the hardest known substance, inasmuch as it will cut glass!” “Glass!” snorted the cynic. “My dear sir, a diamond will even make an im- pression on a woman’s heart.”—Town “Will she never leave the telephone?” “She is talking to her husband!” “Ah, I thought it was a lifelong connection!” 24 —Meggendorfer Blaetter (Munich). evel shot celel littl Dur;