Judge — November 5, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of DARKYISMS SF ‘s. IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD GARAGE— “Shake a nimble dog, colored man, an’ clean them cylinders.” “Who? Me? ‘Take yo’ ease, boy, take yo’ ease. Th’ week’s got seven days jus’ like it always had.” “T’ll say it has; and, ’co’din’ to you, they’s all Sundays.” “How come they is? I'll testify I ain’t seen you losin’ no sleep ’roun’ this garage. Clean yo’ own cylinders, bo, they’s full o’ carbon.” “Y’all wanta give me plenty 0’ space hea’bouts this mo’nin’, son; or else yo’ widder’s goin’ to laff out loud every time she sees a spanner like this-a one.” “On yo’ way, mule face, on yo’ way. I seen yo’ wife th’ other day and, y’all know what she says to me ’bout you? She says: ’Go’s far as you’ve a mind to wif him; I’se jus’ paid up the premium on his life insurance.’ ”— Kansas City Star. Here, what do you mean by trespassin’ on my land? Farmer: Wayward Willie: Me trespassing! I ain’t trespassing. I’ve just fallen out of me _ aeroplane! — Pearson's Weekly. Two gallon hats are popular on any train crossing the border into U. S. World’s the rc HOW HE LIKES— His Sister Your Sister —Toronto Goblin. Too Goop—‘Well, Alice,” said a Southern woman to a colored girl formerly in her employ, “I hear that ave married.” ssum, Ah done got me a hus- band now.” s he a good provider, Alice?” “Yassum. He’s powerful good provider, but Ah’s powerful skeered he’s gwine git catched at it.”—Amer- ican Legion Weekly. STRENGTH OF WILL—The defend- ant, accused of stealing chickens, had been duly examined in court and at the conclusion the judge said: “As I understand it, Sam, you en- tered the henhouse and then, decid- ing to resist temptation, left it. Is that correct?” “Yessuh, Jedge. Dass about right.” “In that case, can you explain how two of the hens were missing?” “It was jes’ dis way, Jedge. I took ’em. I reckoned I was entitled to dat many fo’ leavin’ de res’.”— American Legion Weekly. 21 Humor JUSTICE ON THE JOB—The_be- draggled individual indignantly de- nied that he was intoxicated when the police officer testified that he found the prisoner lying in the street. “Very well, then,” retorted the versatile judge. “You're fined $5 for parking more than six inches from the curb.”—Buffalo Express. THE KicK—It is announced that twenty drops of carbolic acid on a hot shovel will kill all the flies in a room. And Joe Sims of the Medicine Lodge Jndex adds that if you haven’t the carbolic acic, try moonshine hootch. Then get a new shovel. Shovels with holes burned in them are practically useless.—Kansas City Star. THE FRIENDLY CHALLENGE — In the early days of Colorado everybody ducked when a man reacked for his hip pocket. Nowadays they all crowd around him—Colorado Transcript. Comedian: Ha, Laddie, down the house last night. Villain: Yes, so I believe—a brick at a time.—Pearson’s Weekly. . I brought comicbooks.com