Judge — October 15, 1921 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irrepressible, Joyous, “Poppa, what are cosmetics?” “Cosmetics, my son, are peach preservers.”"—Mass. Tech. Voo Doo. Vanitas HE got on at Park and sat in the last car. She got on at Park and sat in the last car. As they went over the bridge he smiled. She laughed aloud. At Kendall she crossed her legs. He crossed his fingers. At Central he had her phone number. She had his watch. When they reached Harvard he offered to take her home. He kissed her on the front porch. Then he went back to Ridgely Annex and cut one more notch in his shoe-trees. “I guess it’s my personality,” he thought as he tumbled into bed. “I guess it’s my _ smile,” she thought as she tumbled into bed.— Harvard Lampoon. Mouthings of Mammon Back—Oh! She’s a terror! I can hear her giving him the very deuce every night when he gets home from the office. And they say he married her for her money. Fence—Well—money talks!—Iowa Frivol. Irresponsible Beauty’s Best Revealment c) I N riding rig, I found it hard ((1})) To take my eyes from her; " She looked so fetching and so chic aa From derby hat to spur! In tailored suit, with gloves and boots And hosiery to match She made me want to woo her with The uttermost dispatch! . : “May I print a kiss upon your I found her quite bewildering lips?” In chiffon, frills and lace — She nodded her sweet permis- A thing, it seemed, from fairy land, sion; All daintiness and grace! So they went to press and I rather guess They printed a whole edition. —Ambherst Lord Jeff. All for Nothing “I’m off that bird Jones for life.” “How so?” “Why the other day he asked me to into his cellar to see his new Her regal beauty stunned me when One night, before the play, I called,—to find her waiting in Bejeweled decollete! But all her charms stood best revealed Nobody can dispute, That day she met me on the beach, Clad in her bathing suit. —Wisconsin Octopus. 7 “He had a new furnace!”"—Lehigh Burr. Telescopic Range Finder The new night-watchman at the Observatory was watching someone using the big telescope. Just then a star fell. “Begorra,” he said to himself, “that felly sure is a crack shot.”— Toronto Goblin. Cruel! Instructor in dietetics—Canned milk should never be fed to babies. Girl (just waking up)—What dif- ference does it make, if you hide the cans from them?—Oregon Ag. Orange Owl. A Hard Case Betty—Unice is going to marry Mr. Whosis to reform him. F Helen—How interesting. What is She: I quite agree with you. it? Drink, cards, gambling or what? He: Well, let’s shake on it— “He’s a_ tightwad” — Syracuse Stanford Chaparral. Orange Peel. comicbooks.com