Judge — October 15, 1921 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ONE Too MAany—A literary fam- ily to which a seventh child had just come was at a country house, and for a time a good deal of the care of the other six children devolved upon the father, who had Spartan ideas as to the upbringing of his sons. One morning he carried his two-year-old to the creek near his home to give him a cold plunge. The child ob- jected lustily to this proceeding, but was firmly held and ducked, notwith- standing. At the instant of the ducking, how- ever, a brawny hand seized the Spar- tan father by his shoulder and flung him back, while the angry voice of the farmer, who was his nearest neighbor, roared in his ears: “Here! None of that! the law on you for this.” For some time the father en- deavored to convince the farmer that he was not trying to drown the child. Even then he wasn’t wholly con- vinced. To the very last minute he kept shaking his head skeptically and saying: “Well, I dunno about that. I dunno! You got six besides this!”—Harper's Magazine. I'll have THE PRODIGAL SON—“Next year we won’t take any summer boarders,” announced Mr. Cobbles. “Why, what’s wrong, asked Mrs. Cobbles. “Our boy has an idea he ought to slick up an’ sorter play th’ part of a hotel clerk. Th’ first thing we know he’ll be wearin’ diamonds an’ standin’ around with a pencil stuck behind his ear. After that he won’t be of any more use on th’ farm.”— Birmingham Age-Herald. father?” KEEPING Up His HEALTH—“It is said that your hired man walks in his sleep.” “Well, dad-burn him, I s’pose he thinks he’s got to take a little exer- cise now and then,” grimly replied Farmer Hornbeak.— Kansas City Star. CALL THE CENSOR—“Hiram,” said Mrs. Corntassel, “what makes you keep so many calendars around the house?” “It got to be a habit. For a while ‘back a calendar seemed about the only thing I could read without a lively suspicion that there was some kind of propaganda in it.”—Wash- ington Star. THEIR ONLY CARE “Thank heavens peace is signed. Now the mark may rise.”—Nebel- Spalter (Zurich). Doc NEEDED—An irate fan, who had watched the home team go down tc defeat, stopped the umpire as he was leaving the park. “Where’s your dog?” he demanded. “Dog?” ejaculated his umps. “I have no dog.” “Well, you’re the first blind man I ever saw who didn’t have a dog,” re- turned the disgruntled one.—Ameri- can Legion Weekly. THE STITCH IN TIME—Nexdore— Heavens! is your house afire? Naybor—No. Just sent for the de- partment to come and water the plants, that’s all. My wife will be home to-morrow. — Boston Tran- script. ALWAYS WITH Us—Congress may protect hides, but the profiteer need not worry about it. He will still be’ at liberty to skin consumers.—Balti- more Star. Lonc DISTANCE INVESTMENT — “What was he arrested for?” “Selling canal stock.” “That isn’t a criminal offense, is it?” “The canal is on Mars.” —Birming- ham Age-Herald. PLAYING SAFE—The firm of Han- sen & Fransen was started in war- time and did very well for a couple of years. But last year things were on the downward grade, and the other day, when the two partners had finished making up their none too good record for the year, Han- sen said, “This would make anyone thoughtful. Now that the good times are over, how about a little honest business?” “No, thanks,” said Fransen. “I never indulge in experiments.”— Houston Post. CAVE 0’ THE WINDS—Did you ever stop to consider that the man who is continually blowing his own horn always remains at the little end?— Jackson Citizen Patriot. — A rich American kept a monkey. It became ill but he would not call in a veterinary surgeon, insisting on the local doctor attending. “Well,” said the latter at the bedside, “and what’s the matter with your father?”. ‘Klods Hans (Copenhagen). comicbooks.com